Sunday, September 13, 2009

A Long Post But a Bit of History: A Step In Making Me Cuckold.

A few days ago I chatting with an old lover of Brandi’s and somehow I got to telling him about an unplanned step we took toward me feeling more like a cuckold several years ago. He had more questions so I went ahead and wrote him a letter…after going to all that trouble I thought I might as well go ahead and clean it up and write it out for posting on my blog. So here goes.

About eight or ten years ago we were living outside of a small town in San Luis Obispo County in California. I was a freight dog and I would be gone eighteen to twenty-two days in a row every month. We had been swingers, starting with a mfm for about twelve years at that time and for various reasons Brandi had started dating some when I was out of town, first with guys that we had met swinging and then she started meeting guys that responded to our ads or referred by friends that were also swingers or in a hotwife relationship. Of course that was before we knew of the term “hotwife” so I don’t recall what we called what we were doing and it was long before I thought of myself as a cuckold.

So we were living outside of this small town and our kids were going to school and Brandi was not working, I made almost enough that she didn’t have to work. She met a woman by the name of Sherri that they shared some common interests, gardening, sewing and a few other things. We became friends. Sherri’s husband was away for a long time…shall we say a state institution of a non-educational nature… Ex-wives can be trouble!

Sherri had hinted that she had played around when she was in a long term relationship in the past, some swinging and then things that we would now call “hotwife” fun and then more into some “cuckold” elements. Of course we didn’t know what to call it and I don’t think Sherri did either but we did see some common ground but so far we had only “hints” to go on. Brandi and I found that interesting and I suggested to Brandi that she tell Sherri about some of the things we had done and enjoyed but my wife was dead set against it and I learned not to say anything about sharing that part of our life with Sherri since it upset Brandi so much. So to make that very clear, Sherri did not know we were swingers and did not know that Brandi dated some when I was on trips and at times when I was home. But we were still kind of new to Brandi dating and still working out rules we could live with, still making adjustments to it and we really felt we were swingers.

So I was doing PANC to RKSS and back. Depending upon the day I would have anywhere from 24 hours to a couple of days in each city. In PANC we stayed at a nice place that we called the “Regal Beagle” that was very close to the airport and also used as the headquarters for the Iditarod. A pleasant hotel with a bit pricey drinks in the bar and the food was a bit over priced for what you got. But the rooms were nice and you were right next door to a large seaplane base which made for enjoyable walks by pilots. There was some cheaper decent food within a reasonable walk.

Brandi and I had talked about her going to a little get together about two weeks into my trip. We had been writing a younger (around fifteen years younger than my wife) man that was interested in getting to know my wife but so far we had been unable to meet him. He invited us to a little Meet and Greet put on by some friends of his, a Meet and Greet for women and straight couples interested in black males. Brandi was very interested in going since she was very interested in meeting S, I had hoped to go with her but when the flying lines came out…I wasn’t going to make it. But we had talked and talked about it and we agreed that Brandi could go and meet S and as a big step for us we decided that if she and S really hit it off it would be okay for them to play but there were a few things she had to do for me. Keep me in the loop, try to call me if things happened when I would be on the ground in a place that was easy for her to call and if not to email me when she go home and to take some pictures and or video for me to enjoy when I got home.

So the rules were set and Brandi could play with S (and the unwritten part was she could only play with S or one of the few other men that she had been playing with) and she had to keep me posted and tell me about it and call if possible! I thought pretty darn simple and easy to understand…right?

But the plot thickens. Brandi and Sherri were going to do a cancer walk that same evening (seems you can have weeks with nothing to do and all of a sudden you have a whole bunch of things to do at the same time, just isn’t fair) but...earlier that evening there was that Meet and Greet for couples interested in black lovers. Now Brandi isn't all that turned on by “black men” since she is more into the man than the skin color but there was that guy that we had been in touch that said he was going to try to be Brandi really really wanted to go meet S.

Brandi was sure that she could drive down to the South County, spend time at the Meet and Greet, meet S and then dash back up to North County and do the Cancer walk. Simple, easy and should work…right! No! Sherri could not understand that Brandi had something to do before the Cancer Walk...and could not understand that Brandi was not giving her any real information or details about what had my wife busy before the walk. However Brandi was not going to reveal anything about our swinging or her dating to Sherri, just wasn’t going to do that. I had tried to get my wife to even just hint at the fact we were swingers but Brandi would get more than a bit upset at the idea of even hinting it to Sherri.

Sherri told Brandi that she wanted to get together a little earlier since she wanted my wife to meet a lover that she had met through her ad at Adult Friend Finder…this floored my wife. She of course had kind of picked up on Sherri’s hints about some of the things Sherri had done in her past with old boyfriends but this seemed so blunt and Brandi was surprised that Sherri would tell her about the boyfriend/lover/fuck! So Sherri kept trying to get Brandi to agree to meet earlier, closer to the real starting time of the Cancer Walk so Brandi could meet this guy.

After Sherri kept bugging Brandi to tell her why they couldn't meet earlier rather than right before if not after the Cancer Walk started Brandi gave up trying to keep the secret and told Sherri about the little get together...and Sherri wanted to go...and go before she met her lover (keeping secrets from her lover?). I think I knew about Sherri's lover (Sherri had hinted about such things to me before I left and Sherri told me more than she told Brandi about the games she played with previous lovers) but I had no idea that Sherri had broken Brandi down about the Meet and Greet and that Sherri was going with Brandi to it. So I was fat dumb and happy thinking that my wife was going down to meet S at a “public” setting and something might happen but it was doubtful due to her having to rush away not too long after the Meet and Greet started to make the Cancer Walk. Plot thick enough yet? The last message I had from my wife also was clear on that she hadn’t had any dates or anything set up with the few previous lovers she had at this time.

So off Sherri and my wife went to the Meet and Greet, it was in Pismo Beach so it was a bit over an hour drive. S showed up late and was busy (a good looking and charming young man) so Brandi didn't get a chance to do more than actually meet him and express some interest in getting to know him better. He was just what my wife was looking for: good looking, nice and smart, well spoken, all things she likes in men. So off Sherri and my wife to the Cancer Walk after having a few drinks and a short time chatting with a few people (and S) at the Meet and Greet.

At the Cancer Walk Sherri's lover showed up (in the picture of three people on a sofa he is on Brandi’s left, our right). Since the ice had been broken to Sherri about Brandi and I being swingers (what we thought we were at that time) Sherri told her lover (let’s call him Tom since I don’t recall his name) a bit about Brandi, that she was married, that she was a swinger and I would guess that Sherri stirred the pot some by whispering to T that at least in some cases Brandi could date and fuck other men…or it is very possible that Sherri was stirring the pot just trying to urge or push my wife into playing some against our rules and Sherri wanted to just make a bit of trouble…I don’t know. Of course I had given permission to Brandi to play with S (and to me my wife had permission to play only with S, no other male but I could see it being stretched to include an attractive black male at the Meet and Greet and one of her previous lovers but there were not really many at that time and they were not really local) if it worked out but of course I had no idea that Sherri was going to be there with her and that Brandi would tell Sherri anything about our playing.

So from my point of view Sherri knew nothing about our playing, Brandi would never tell her about it. Sherri had no idea about my wife going down to Pismo Beach to meet S a very possible new lover for my wife who just happened to be black. All that I knew that Sherri knew was that Brandi had something very important to do before the Cancer Walk. I was also pretty sure that nothing was going to happen with S just from the time constraints since my wife had promised Sherri that she would join her friends that all worked for the same company for the cancer walk. I thought but was not sure that Sherri had a “friend” coming to meet her that weekend but I didn’t really have the details and I was wondering how she was going to handle that since her co-workers knew she was married and I’ll toss in her fellow workers actually knew my wife and of course knew that my wife was married… Still confused? Good, so was I!

So I get in from Seoul and I kind of waited for a while to hear from my wife with no luck, but I wasn’t surprised with all that she was trying to cram in that evening. I’m tired so I'm in bed, I am sure I already had a bit of brandy. I carry a flask with me for a nightcap now and then. If I wasn’t asleep I was in that almost asleep state so I wasn’t really alert or thinking? I had expected a call from Brandi (this is before we had cell phones) but I was unsure of the time she would call since I knew she was going to the Meet and Greet and the Cancer Walk and I wasn’t sure just how late that would go so I thought that she might not have time to call between the Meet and Greet and the Cancer Walk so I might not even get a call until the morning. I didn’t have all that much to go on since my last update was an email in RKSS so that was no less than twelve or so hours ago at best and I don’t recall when my wife sent me it so it might have been a day or more out of date. Keep in mind all that stuff I thought I knew and all the stuff I didn’t know above and then throw in the time differences as well.

So the phone rings and I struggle in my not all there state of mind to get it and a male voice, a bit country not at all black (turns out S doesn't sound black either and he doesn't sound country at all) and this male voice says something like..."Your wife is a great cock sucker. I love how she is licking and sucking on my cock...and the way she takes my balls into her mouth and plays with them and sucks on them..." And on and on or so it seemed as the words filtered through to my mind and I processed them! I was stunned and a bit shocked. I don't really recall what I said and he repeats it to whoever else is there...I hear some giggling and then I hear Sherri in the background say something and laugh some. He goes on..."This is Michael isn’t it and your wife is Brandi?” I somehow let him know that he is correct as far as I know, still not really anywhere near 100% in the mental department and of course being asleep or almost asleep is part of it and part of it is the message this voice is giving me! “Your wife really loves to suck cock and she is good at it...I love the feel of her mouth on my cock and I know she loves sucking me."

He holds the phone down to Brandi (I assume that is what happened) and Brandi tells me "Hi Honey!" and goes back to sucking (I assume his cock) given the sounds I hear. So I know that my wife seems to be sucking someone's cock and she is doing it in front of Sherri!! I was more than a bit confused, Brandi was sucking someone’s cock in front of a person that she had told me that she wanted to keep our playing a secret from, didn't want to share that part of our life with her at all!

He goes on to tell me that they, Sherri, my wife and him are all on Sherri’s bed and naked. How wet Brandi’s cunt is, how good she looks, how he likes my wife's tits, ass and nipples, how good she kisses, how much he enjoyed kissing and fondling her at the Cancer Walk. He liked how my wife responded to his kisses and touches at the Cancer Walk and how great her ass, tits and nipples felt there…how turned on she must have been to have such hard nipples and how she likes her nipples played with and pinched…how much he is going to enjoy fucking my wife...He told me that after Sherri had told him about my wife and what she could do with other men it didn’t take a lot of flirting for him to be sure that he was going to get to fuck my wife that evening. He knew in a very short time that Brandi wanted him and would fuck him. He was crude in his language to me about my wife and what she was doing and what he planned to do and I am stunned.

“You’re putting me on…this is some kind of joke isn’t it? Put my wife on!” I still am not up to speed. While I kind of wanted Brandi to tell Sherri some of what we enjoyed this seemed sudden and a very big step. I was very upset, quite hurt, very angry and not really aroused. We had agreed that she could play with Sid or another interesting black man she might meet at the Meet and Greet. So I was also confused, very confused, it seemed so strange that Brandi would go from not telling Sherri much at all to being naked on Sherri's bed with Sherri and Sherri's lover and have Sherri’s lover’s cock in her mouth in just a few hours!

Sherri gets on the phone and starts talking. "We are all naked on my bed. Your wife is between Tom's (I don't recall his name so Tom will do) legs sucking his cock, She really enjoys sucking cock. You guys should have told me you played and that Brandi could meet men without you." She told me that nothing happened at the meet and greet but they were able to meet Sid and he seemed nice. She went on to tell me about meeting Tom right before the Cancer Walk and how my wife and Tom started flirting.

I was very upset and hurt and didn't at all understand what was going on. Sherri went on to tell me about the flirting, kissing, touching, groping and all at the Cancer Walk including some stuff going on in a tent used for resting. The semi-public stuff, kissing and touching just floored me due to Brandi always being so careful before about doing things that she might be seen doing. So I was a bit angry actually. I didn't understand and it seemed so sudden with no warning...

So my wife gets on the phone and she tells me a bit of what happened and how Sherri talked her into telling her about us and going to the Meet and Greet...I hear sounds and moans from her as Tom was eating her and she was quite turned on and Tom seemed to be doing a good job eating my wife’s pussy so she wasn’t always able to talk coherently. I let her know I am upset and that would I would like some pictures. I tell her and Sherri when Sherri gets back on the phone that I was a bit confused and upset and some pictures would help me not be so upset. They "try" but they can't seem to make any camera work...?? They keep handing the phone off and telling me what is going on. I'm beginning to get a bit turned on but I am also angry and hurt...if my wife is going to make a big change I wanted to be there to see it!

Tom plays with Brandi’s pussy and gets her to have an orgasm, eats her some to another orgasm and then they fuck...and fuck. Sherri tells me what is going on and I can hear how my wife is responding. It is obvious she is enjoying being fucked by Tom.

They get fed up with my questions and my attitude and hung me later and tell me more and then my wife calls me again when she gets home...full of Tom's come. As is regular for my wife she took Tom bare into her pussy and didn’t feel that she had him until he came in her, she really wants to feel her lovers come in her pussy and she tells me that she really enjoys feeling them come and the feelings of being wet there and their come and her wetness leaking out of her keeps her aroused and full of happy thoughts for hours…a real sensual high just from having a good lover shoot his come in her! It took a while to get over the whole mess of this time with Sherri and Tom but I realized later that Brandi would get turned on and swept away at times. Since I enjoyed her being a passionate woman I had to figure out a way to enjoy it rather than get angry.

As things went on we kept changing the rules trying to find ones that worked for us. She would agree to rules and then break them when she was out with a guy and get turned on. Finally we got to she had no real rules or limits except she has to be honest with me, I did catch her in a few minor lies, or else she was trying to break something to me gently. An example of that would be letting a guy come in her mouth, I have not been able to do that for years.

I also looked into myself some and I had to admit that I hated and loved some of the feelings that her actions brought up in me. I was aroused very much by her playing and some of the things she would do with lovers at the same time it hurt. So I started thinking about some of the reading on the net I was doing I figured out that in some ways I was having cuckold reactions.

While I would enjoy seeing her in a small gang-bang (and she says she would still like to try one bigger than she has in the past, four or five men) I have to admit that I enjoy seeing her with a lover or knowing she is with a lover...a guy she likes in and out of bed. One that she is a friend with not just sexual partner. She enjoys being slightly or more than slightly submissive to the right man, she is his when we are out, sits with him, they kiss and flirt and touch and so on, they are the couple. It hurts some but it is also very sexy. The problem is finding a guy that enjoys that, enjoys being first with my wife being second in priority and me being last and expecting to do what her lover and then my wife “ask” me to do to make them happy and have an enjoyable time. Not everyone can be a bit possessive of a guy's wife in front of him and in public. Not everyone enjoys public affection and semi-public sex. An example of that would be sitting across from the table from Brandi and her lover and watching them tease and flirt with each other and kiss…knowing his hand is between my wife’s legs and as we leave seeing his arm around my wife’s waist and watch his hand move down to cup her ass and take a long feel or even a long grope as we (they) walk out of the restaurant with others eyes on them.

But I feel ( and so does Brandi) that it makes sense for her to put her lover first when they are together since they get to less time together so it should be special time. Also she should have wider limits with a lover, she has explained it by saying that if a lover goes beyond what she wants or she goes beyond what she wants to do with a lover she can get rid of him, getting rid of me is a bigger project.

I'd like Brandi and I to become friends with another local cuckold couple or two and us go out with our wives and their lovers. Us cuckold third wheels watching our wives with their lovers. Seeing my wife in public with a lover is a turn on to me, seeing them kiss and touch.... I love seeing Brandi’s lover be a bit possessive of Brandi, be possessive of my wife in front of me, staking his claim even over her husband…so hot to see Brandi not just accept that possessiveness but enjoy it and get turned on by her lover taking her, making her his for the while. I'd like (and hate but love) the right people to see that my wife has a lover or two. Yes I enjoy watching a lover kissing and undressing my wife and it would be hot to see that happen with us sitting with a friend of Brandi’s or mine or?? I have enjoyed Brandi flirting with other men from before, long before we tried our first threesome and I still enjoy it.

Sherri had a couple of old boyfriends that enjoyed her dating and one became what I would call a real cuckold relationship, in some ways like the relationship that my wife and I have. We still have a good sex life but Brandi enjoys dating, takes her lovers bareback and knows she has the freedom to do what she likes with them. Brandi enjoys me watching her and going out on dates with just her lover. She enjoys me eating her after a lover comes in her and she knows that we both enjoy her lover being number one with her when they or we are out together. All that Sherri enjoyed with a couple of her lovers.

Sherri gave Brandi a place to fuck, letting her use her house when she was at work and our kids were home. My wife would go over there and meet S or C or?? and have a session and come home hot and wet. Keep in mind that we lived out of a small town, Sherri had neighbors, we had a distinctive car and Sherri's neighbors knew it and Brandi is a very vocal lover and the windows were open at Sherri's most of the time. I think her neighbors knew that my wife had lovers or at least was fucking around.

Sherri was in my wife's corner, the place to fuck, helping her find lovers, encouraging her to date and to spend nights with lovers, encouraging her to relax and enjoy bareback sex with her lovers (Sherri also enjoyed that), they would have small parties at Sherri's. By telling my wife about her previous lovers Sherri was giving my wife tips on how to handle me and without saying it she was teaching my wife to make me into a cuckold... but of course the raw material was already there.

Sherri would tell me, write me and call me about what my wife was doing, telling me how much Brandi enjoyed certain lovers and how much she enjoyed fucking them, their cocks, she could be quite blunt and crude at times. She would tell me about helping my wife spend the night with L or J, how S would come over and meet my wife at Sherri's. She would tease me about eating creampies...about me eating my wife's lover's semen out of my wife's pussy. She would tease me about Brandi having me eat her while a lover was in her and knew how my wife teased me about my tongue touching his cock.

Something Sherri saw made her sure that I was a cuckold before we both knew that term fit and before I was willing to admit it or even discuss it. Kate did things without meaning to make me feel like a cuckold, she did what she wanted to do and hoped that I would not find out. Sherri worked with my wife and me and manipulated us to put us in cuckold situations and encourage us into a hotwife-cuckold relationship. Of course it would not have worked if Brandi wasn't Brandi and didn't enjoy having sex with other men and enjoyed having "lovers" rather than just fucking and it would not have worked if I wasn't the type to enjoy that and expand my limits in those directions. I think Sherri also knew that Brandi enjoyed being a bit submissive to her lovers and I enjoyed being a bit submissive to my wife when she was with or going to be with a lover. Thinking back Sherri might have even used the term "cuckold" to me and I am sure that I reacted in horror. Now I know it fits.  So after Sherri's work we figured out that I hate and enjoy getting a bit upset by my wife pushing her limits and my limits or should I say...pushing what I think are OUR limits.  I love her making it clear that in sex that her lover comes first...way over me until we get home alone.  I love and hate her being sexual with others in public and I love and hate others knowing that I am a cuckold. 

I think that Sherri knew after that first threesome that I would put up with a lot from my wife and enjoy it after getting over being upset and that Brandi could be a bit of a slut given the right man or men and time and place. I would rather use the terms: "sensual", "sexual" (who would not want a sensual or sexual wife or lover?), or even "easy" (( I am delighted that my wife is "easy" for the right man or woman...I'm a cuckold!) over "slut" but at times my wife does act a bit "slutty" but I don't consider her a "slut".

The pictures: On our view, C, Brandi and Tom. First time Tom had been at a party and he was a bit shocked to see my wife opening her legs to let C fondle all the way up to her pussy while I watched. Up to that point it seemed like a normal party and even though Tom had fucked my wife before he was amazed to see her open her legs to C's touch and then start kissing C all the while it still seemed like a normal party.  Brandi was wearing panties that had just two strands of fake pearls between the legs, my wife finds them rather arousing to wear. I must admit I enjoy others seeing my wife being touched or fondled by one of her lovers. My wife saying good bye to S at our house, I love her being naked and S being dressed.  S and my wife hugging at Sherri's and the rest  are of S and my wife on the floor at Sherri's...a rather common event.

Adding to the thoughts above, I posted this and was doing some thinking as I was checking out a few other blogs...trying to enjoy things but also I am well aware I have things to do, yardwork, car work and some other stuff and my back is KILLING ME...the pain is getting worse but that isn't real important here except it does cause me not to track too well.

I had a couple of flings and at least one affair and I would have kept seeing Kate if it had been possible when I was newly married so I had a real affair and some other cheating long before Brandi and I started swinging and then drifted into hotwife and cuckold games.  But as I was reading other blogs and thinking about this posting I realized that a large part of my anger was the simple fact that I was traveling and I wasn't getting laid and later my wife would see a lover or lovers up to two times a week and once in while even more often that that!  I was jealous of my wife getting laid by men that turned into friends and or lovers while I was seeing the world of airport hotels and using my hand for relief.  But I also have to admit that I had the chance to get laid a few times with fellow employees as a commuter pilot, a couple of FA's a really sexy pilot and a couple of really sexy rampers but I turned it down figuring that as a married guy I should not risk fucking around with fellow employees and also for a while I was a management even more reason not to fuck around at work or with fellow workers eh?


  1. Well that was a straightforward honest post if ever there was one. Thanks for sharing all of that!


  2. that was a lot but helps us understand...Your wife obviously enjoys cuckolding you.....I think she knows on a certain level how much you love it and how much angst it causes but then I think you both thrive on the angst...Knowing that she let another woman in on your cuckold siutation is in my opinion just plain hot...I often wish and have encouraged my wife to tell her girl friends that she fucks other men....but they just dont get it..Sherri did