Another comment from Your (Our) Hotwives...

 Ongoing thread there about...what do you do if you don't like your wife's lover or lovers or really dislike hi m.  Or like I said in the last entry...think he is an asshole...!

What works for one guy or one couple really means nothing in someways since it is two people as a couple plus another man trying to do something that is bit unusual and very intimate and personal and we are dealing with emotions (and lust is a very powerful emotion as well as love...all mixed up in here).  This isn't like trying to torque the head on 1991 Jaguar AJ-6 engine...there is just ONE right way to do that or even baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies (just how many recipes are in the net for chocolate chip cookies and how many work and how many do you like compared to John and Sally over there?).

But in some ways I look at it from reverse...Would I insist that my wife go have sex with a man that I liked and she didn't?  If cuckolding or hotwifing is going to work the wife must enjoy it and that seems to mean to most women (but keep in mind that the older I get and the longer I am married the less I know about women and marriage...and to add to that I know NOTHING about raising kids...but I knew a lot about marriage and women 32 years ago and raising kids 26 years ago!) that THEY (not their husbands) have to be turned-on by or like the person THEY, the wife, are going to have sex with, fuck or make love to.  This seems to be even more important in the beginning...after a while my wife didn't have too much problem fucking a guy that was just okay or even kind of blah to her at a party but for the most part one on one means she has to want the guy!   One of the reasons we drifted away from couples swinging was that it was so difficult to find a couple (four people) that were comfortable in being together.  Women that turned me on...the  hubby did nothing for my wife...guys that really were turned on by my wife...and my wife turned on by them turned out to have wives as crazy as most the people at Atatascadero State  (A California place for those that are not only insane but criminals...).  We met one couple that the wife had more than one lover, she would go away for a week with her lover but her hubby could not meet my wife for a cup of coffee...she did nothing for me and I did less for her but her hubby and my wife really, really wanted each other...ripped up pictures, phone threats..what fun!  Go figure?

So if you want your wife to fuck other men SHE has to find a man that she wants to fuck...the problem really isn't YOU finding a man that YOU want your wife to fuck.   Given that...when we started with our first mfm...remember it was just a step toward swinging...we agreed ahead of time that she would NOT kiss the guy.  And she didn't.  She enjoyed it a lot.  So much she tried (and succeeded) to hide just how much she enjoyed him (and their fucking!) and how many orgasms she had with him.  It was very hot for me...if she had let lose and had been as vocal with her comments and cries and orgasms as she later was with him and others I would have been scared to death.  But when we got to know the guy better and we became friends I got up the nerve to ask my wife how she felt about kissing and kissing him. 

First she said...too intimate (even now in some ways I consider kissing, flirting, real talking and friendship type things, some affection things to be far more intimate and hotter than my wife and some strange man just fucking, having some other guy's cock in her pussy or mouth can be a bit boring at times to watch if she isn't enjoying it)...she liked the rules we  had...blah...blah...blah.  Then I asked if she enjoyed kissing when we had sex (or even when we made love)?  She admitted after a bit that kissing was for her an important part of sex...very arousing....  Ah...Ha!  So we (her mostly but I was a part of that discussion) talked it over with the guy (who later really was a "lover" to her, not just a fuck so the same guy had several "firsts" with my wife, and they decided that they would try kissing.  They did.  It was very hot for them.  I was a bit jealous at first.  Some butterflies in the stomach but nothing like the first time and seeing my wife's hand grab his large (seemed huge to me at the time but we are actually very close in size) cock and then as I watched...SHE...my wife...guided another man's bare cock into her pussy...rolled her hips so that in a few strokes he was all the way into her pussy...balls against her pussy...wow, that was more than butterflies...that felt like I guess a heart attack feels...part of the shock was her being active in grabbing him (that made me think that she really wanted to do this and was doing for her own reasons not just because I wanted her to do it) and guiding him into her and part of is was he was bare and she wasn't on birth control and we had agreed that he would wear a rubber...  Some of her feelings about that night I didn't learn until much later including that while she had told me that when we had him come to our house for our second meeting that it was still a "maybe" and there was a good chance she would not fuck him that night or ever...she had already decided that he really turned her on, she was going to fuck him that night unless he or I did something very stupid

But the short of it was that the kissing made it a lot hotter for my wife and her fuck buddy (later lover)...seeing her greatly increased excitement made it hotter, a lot hotter for me.  I've seen my wife give mercy fucks at parties or be with a guy she didn't really want to be with but was being polite and it is a lot hotter to see her with a man that really turns her on.  If it is a guy that I don't see what she sees or I don't like or is a bit of a jerk...I am not the woman being fucked or fucking.  She has to be turned on!  (I have to too of course but I am a pervert and find her having sex with another man to be hot.)

So...do what you want to do.  Communicate with your wife and make sure she communicates with you.  Communicate with prospective fucks, fuck buddies, lovers.  But at some point you might have to decide to see what happens when your wife is with a man that you for all sorts of reasons don't understand why she is turned on by him.  Might look at it in different ways.  I like blonds.  Except for Asian women I pretty much dated blonds with blue eyes.  All long term girlfriends were blonds.  I still love blonds.  When I cheated I tended toward blonds (the important thing was for me to think there was a chance she would say "yes") I was kind of open but blonds were my goal!  My wife of 31, almost 32 years is brown (auburn) hair and brown eyes...  Don't you think that your wife has you...she might want to try something that isn't you?  Follow her own turn-ons?  I'll pay the price of seeing a man that is a bit of jerk or asshole in my opinion with my wife...IF he turns my wife on.  I've learned that it is a very cheap price to pay to see her having a great time which makes my excitement even greater than her just doing a mercy fuck.

But it is also a growth process.  If my wife had said..."Yeah...I'll cheerfully fuck another man several times and then we MIGHT see about swinging.  I'm going to take him bare.  Spend the night with him every time I see him.  He is going to be someone you think is a bull shitting asshole.  YOU will not meet him.  He is going to think I am cheating on you so I will lie to him some.  But I'll lie a bit to you about him so you might be kind of even.  I will pretty much have no limits with him...fuck him in the shower...kiss him, suck his cock, if he really wants to fuck my ass he will...let him strip me naked and fuck me in a semi-public place...have phone sex with him in the middle of the yard stark naked...be friends with him...and I am going to have some of the most fantastic sex I've ever had in my life with him and I will let him know just how great he is at fucking me when I am with him...if he is bigger and better than you...he will hear it from my lips...I'll tell him about you eating his sperm from me when I come home and he will think you are so stupid you don't know that I've just been fucked...and very well fucked I might add..." when I came up with the idea of using an mfm as a step to swinging and we were looking for the first guy for her to play with...well I'll guess we never would have tried swinging...

I also cannot help but think that most the men that play with married women do feel a bit smug.  I know I certainly did when I was playing with hotwives or cheating wives as a single or when I was married and cheating.  I think that is just part of the game.  But I would use my veto power on a man that was a real risk to our marriage or a risk to my wife's safety or happiness or didn't treat her with respect (but that is deep too since she is a bit sub to the right lover and really enjoys that but hates the word).  So things that I might see as a lack of respect are things that she enjoys but would not take from me...so I have to trust her.

But again...do not take our words, from any of us for the right way for you and your wife to try hotwife or cuckold games.  Figure out what will work for the two of you.  Be flexible and willing to change and to give and take...but keep in mind it also has to work for your wife as well as you.  (One of the reasons a women I played with got divorced was that her husband decided on the family hobbies and vacations...ALWAYS.  At one point she had enough and wanted to go someplace she wanted to go than to yet another wine making area...The first time she had an orgasm was with me and she had no idea what was happening...After she came down a bit she said, "I always wondered what they were talking about..."  I felt sorry for her in many ways.   But the lesson there is marriage is give and take, it cannot be all one way.  I think that is true even with cuckolding or hotwife games.)

Part of what I am saying is that it does have to work for the both of you...most important, the both of you...the lover, it has to work for him too but that isn't so critical.  If the guy you are talking to doesn't seem to fit or he tells you that  your desires don't fit him...back to Craigslist, AFF or AM or what ever.  YOU want the right lover for your wife...a guy that turns her on will make it better for the both of you.  But we found that both of us had changes in what we enjoyed and our limits.  She would have never guessed (so she claims) that she would be going out to meet a guy, a steady lover, to spend the night with him after going out and having dinner with him in public.  I never thought I would enjoy watching my wife get ready for a date...showering, make-u[ and so on, up to the shaving and trimming her pussy...and she would let me feel how wet  her pussy was at the thought of meeting her lover (seeing your naked wife telling you how much she looking forward to seeing lover, her pussy already very wet and a bit open, nipples hard, that aroused anticipation look on her face...teasing me about it a bit...not showing me her lingerie...telling me that her lingerie is for her lover to see first.  Reminding me how wet her pussy is for her lover and telling me that her pussy was now HIS...until we made love after she got back BUT first I would have to clean her pussy of his come...at times she would tell me that me eating her lover's come from her pussy or licking it from her breasts really turned her on and some of her lovers knew that she would have me eat her wet pussy (thanks to her telling them about it!) and she and her lovers would talk about how much she enjoyed me eating her sopping wet and well fucked pussy at times and then they would tell her..."Tell Michael to enjoy the tasty little treat I'm sending home in  you"  and she would keep talking and teasing me until I came into her...as she told me...then reclaiming her wet and well fucked, full-of-her-lover's-come-pussy.

The first time I tried to eat her pussy after her lover had just come in her...I knew she wanted me to eat her pussy (I had read some about it and I know she almost always loves me to eat her) but she also thought it was disgusting...would I really touch that mess with my tongue...taste another man's sperm (funny, she loves come in her and on her, she doesn't feel that she has been with a lover unless he comes in her but she also enjoys rubbing his come into her breasts and nipples or after a lover comes on her to rub the head of his cock on her breasts...she loves come but at the same time she felt that something she loved and enjoyed might also be "disgusting" for me to see, touch, taste her lover's come)!?  I knew that she loved being eaten.  She had told me that she had wanted to try being eaten after having me or someone else come in her and she also wanted to stay excited so she could enjoy H in her again...he would get hard again very rapidly.  I was trying to keep her excited since H wanted her again (and I wanted to see that and to have my wife after she had two loads of come in her so I nibbled very carefully around her clit...trying to avoid the mess.  When she came she grabbed my head and pulled it, forced my into her pussy as she came and came...very violent, hips thrusting and rolling, her hands on my hand almost painfully forcing my head into her pussy. 

Next time we were with him I was kissing her breasts after H had come in her and I was getting ready to enter her and she pushed my head down toward her pussy.  I got the message I ate her and she pushed my head around a bit and it was obvious she wanted me to taste more than around her clit.   Another time she sat on my face and she was a mess.  She rubbed the mess around my face...

Now she just "orders" me to eat her after she gets home or a lover has come in her when we have a threesome...I pretty much know I'm not getting my cock into her wet pussy until I give her another orgasm.  At parties she has been on a couch, I'll watch one of the men there fucking her, see as he comes in her, they cuddle a bit and then he pulls out.  If another man doesn't get between her legs soon...often she will then sit up with her hips almost at the edge of the cushion, spread her legs, lean back and motion to me and kind of curl her finger and point at her pussy...  I know what she wants. I do it. 

I have a tape made at a small party that has a friend of hers getting between her legs, his cock is thick and looks very hard and then we see my wife reaching toward his erection, guiding him into her.  Then we see him fucking her.  Both my wife and her friend are totally naked and we see them fuck and kiss and fondle and fuck for a while and others drift in and out of the camera's view, another female pats his ass, a few men look down at my wife as she keeps fucking her friend...a man brings his cock to her lips and she sucks on him for a bit.  The fucking motions seem to pick up.  The man pulls his cock out of my wife's mouth.  We keep watching.  In a while we see and hear my wife and her friend come, he rests on my wife, his cock still in my wife's cunt...they kiss and talk some.  Then we see him pulling out her wet pussy....his cock is not hard any longer, still impressive, gleams wetly in the lights...a thread of come and ?? connects his cock to my wife's cunt for a moment as he pulls away.  He moves his legs over my wife's legs...he slides up my wife's naked body, balls rubbing on her as he moves up, he reaches down to his cock and rubs his wet cock on my wife's breasts...she laughs a bit and smiles.  He moves up a bit more and my wife reaches to his cock and kisses the tip...sucks a bit of it into her mouth and the lets it slip out and she smiles at him.  He moves away.

You can see that she is wet...I think she had two other men before him.  She rests a bit.   Still reclined on the couch.  Legs sprawled wide.  Some highlights flashing off her wet pussy.  She sits up and talks to the others.  My wife, stark naked.  My wife's legs open and we can see her pussy, I wonder watching this video, was this the time I ate her just after seeing my wife fuck her third man of the evening.  Then she sees me.  Does those motions and without a word to me I am between her legs, on my knees, also naked and now I am eating away at her wet and leaking, open...and as I am very aware...just fucked pussy as she slouches back against the cushions.  She chats away until she gets swept up in an orgasm and her hands go to my head and she thrashes around, hips jerking and rolling, legs lifting and she pulls my head into her messy crotch as she comes and comes...pushes my head away and gasps...catching her breath, resting a bit.  Then another man comes over and she gently pushes me away and moves around on the sofa and opens her legs to another man..but he wants her to suck on his cock for a bit...a few moments he moves back down between my wife's legs and we watch as she  reaches between them to guide his bare cock into her wet and open pussy.  I know that some of the other men there must snicker a bit (but I've also seen how some of her lovers get hard watching me eat their come out of my wife and how much they want her after she comes from my tongue) and it hurts but it also turns me on to please her.

At times she makes it clear that she is enjoying the fact that her husband is eating her lover's come from her pussy (and she makes clear I enjoy eating her come filled pussy..."I can't shower before coming home from a date...Michael loves to eat my pussy when I get home...and I love what his tongue can do to my pussy.") and she is making a mess of things rubbing herself on my face.   But as another example of how things change she now wants a lover to tell me to eat her pussy after he has come in her and for him to tell me to eat her while he is in her...she also loves that but wants the power shift of her lover telling her husband to do it...  When we started this I had no idea I'd be eating creampie (I'd be eating my wife's lover's come, ejaculate...sperm from my her well fucked and at times just fucked pussy)...and I'd love it (and hate it a bit) and the idea of having her lover "ordering" me to eat his creampie out of my wife to be a turn on as well as a bit humiliating.  But like seeing a lover pull my wife into a doorway downtown as we stroll away from a restaurant, then watch as he pulls her close and as they kiss, grope and fondle each other and I see them hotly kissing, wet open mouthed erotic kisses, see him pull the back of her skirt up and grope her as good as naked ass (she usually wears thongs) as others walk by was also not something I planned to enjoy!  One guy would turn my wife around so he could rub his cock against her ass, pull her skirt or dress up and slide a hand into her thong and play with her pussy, a hand groping her breasts and the kissing (I think I would see a faint smirk on his face between kisses...kind of a "Look what she does with me, does she do this with you?" kind of look but maybe I just imagined it)...in public...knowing very well that she would hesitate to do that with me (and that he probably knows that) just makes it hotter but like a lot of other things...we didn't plan to work toward enjoying  such things...we thought we just were going to try swinging.

So what you want and enjoy might change in ways that you never expected.  Be open...enjoy.

Was over at Your (Our) Hotwives and saw an interesting question.

Should your wife have a lover or a fuckbuddy that you don't like or respect?


While I feel that you have to do what works for you I tend to go with the guys that say....It is about the WIFE...they have a very valid point.  For hot wife or cuckold games to work it has to work for both but the wife is doing something that is rather intimate and emotional for a lot of women.  She is having sex or making love with a man that isn't her husband.  Her needs are critical at this point and I feel most men should allow their wife a little slack.  After all would you ask or expect your wife to have a lover that she didn't like or detested since you liked him?  But as others point out what we are doing isn't isn't real cuckolding.  We know about it.  We are a part of our cuckolding.  Almost all of us really enjoy it.  Everyone of us has a unique role (there is no "right" way for us to be cuckolds, all of us do it a bit differently), all of us play the game a bit differently and for many of us the roles change, evolving for some of us and for some it is a time and place and mood thing for what turns us and the others involved on. 

My wife had one guy that I thought was a full-of-shit-blowhard-asshole-twit! (Go ahead Michael...no need to be subtle...tell us what you really thought of the guy!)  She was playing cheating wife with him even though he had contacted us as a guy interested in playing with a couple.  Since Brandi did date some we talked about it and thought it would be okay with certain limitations.  Part of the reason I was willing for her to do it was that it was obvious to me just how much even talking to the guy turned her on.  He could talk her into stripping naked and then going out into the yard and having phone sex with him...totally naked, out in the yard, clothing or anything else to cover up with inside our house  30...40...50...or more feet away...and she would have phone sex with him, screaming orgasms, spurting into the cushions, at times flooding them.  She was hot for him.  He also was very tall tall, a bit aggressive in nature, confident, well endowed (but not as big as he claimed), dressed well and had a great voice and used it well.  A mature businessman type.  All of those things are BIG turn-ons for my wife.  I thought he was more than a bit of line shooter from the beginning but I enjoyed seeing how much Brandi was turned on by him.  Picture your wife in a  chair in the middle of the yard...naked...not even sandals, legs spread wide on the arms of the chair or in a glider on her back with her legs spread WIDE open, visibly wet, pussy open, sweating and panting through several orgasms, cushions soaked, seeing her spurt unlike any thing you had ever seen before and with the phone to her ear talking to this asshole...

Up to this time I  considered myself as a swinger or a hot wife husband...not a cuckold.  So at that time I thought it might be fun to mess with his mind and get the inside from my wife as she tells him she is cheating on me.  Didn't seem all that much different that stuff we had done before.  So they talked, had phone sex, made plans.  We  had two youngish kids at that point, no her going off to spend the night without a reason...then I was home so little I didn't want to give up too much time with her on the days I had home.  So she planned to do it when I was on a trip, my Mother could take care of the kids and we would tell them that it was a business thing, she was doing some marketing stuff at that time.

We discussed some limits.  One SHE wanted was that she would not shower, take a bath (hot tub was okay?) and fuck him in the shower or bath...that was reserved for us!  Not too much else on other limits.  She was set up to come home late...so I thought.  She would call me before the meeting, during the first part, dinner to let me know she was okay and that she had  no little worries about him.  Then she would call me and let me know that she was going to fuck him and also she would set up a video camera and tape their first fuck...he thought that would be cool too. She would also call her girlfriend and let her know where she was and that she was okay...just a precaution.  The GF did know we were swingers and that Brandi did some playing when I was gone.  More on GF later.  She and an old boyfriend had a kink that I didn't know about.

So I was off on a trip.  At that time I would be gone 16 to 22 days out of the month which is one of the reasons she started seeing guys on her on.  Almost all of them were men that we had seen together in threesomes.  There was on Doctor that she saw alone but he talked to me and plans were for us to meet as a group one day and there was on guy she saw once and fucked that felt so guilty (he had a girlfriend) that he got so weird she didn't see him again.  The Doctor ended when his marriage started coming apart and Brandi felt he was getting too interested in her...  That made me feel more comfortable with her seeing men without me since it showed some common sense and also showed that while she could have sex, friendship and even a bit of love and affection for another man...we were (and are!) the primary relationship.

So the day rolls around.  Not sure where I was, maybe in recurrent.  But Brandi did call me to let me know she was getting ready.  Called me when she was parking to meet him.  I had to make a guess at the cars that she was looking at...which one was his.  I was right, she isn't good at figuring that out.  No calls.  No calls.  Check in with GF and she has had no calls since letting her and me know that indeed he is there and she is going to his car...  I am a bit upset...concerned!

At last I decided to call.  After a few times she picks up...  She tells me a fantasy...about being with a lover.  Of course I know she is actually telling me what is going on. So as her lover is eating her and playing with her naked body she is telling me about dinner and how hot he makes her and about their first fuck...and she was going to spend the night with him...she puts down the phone and lets me hear them fuck and then hangs up after she has a loud orgasm.  That spending the night thing startled me a bit, half expecting but wasn't sure if she was going to make that step, a big one in my opinion, to actually spend the night with another man.  Even after they drifted apart she was sure that he never figured out that she was telling me most of what was happening...she wasn't just cheating.  In the morning a quick call...he is in the bathroom so I get a little more and she admits that she didn't video tape anything but promises to tape something that morning...she does and it is hot.  Very short talk and switches to nonsense stuff when he comes back in the room.  He is quite excited and turned on by banging a swinging hot wife on the side...her cheating with him so he works at being a great lover.  Brandi later admits his arousal and enjoyment of of her "cheating" on me and making me a "cuckold" to him added to her enjoyment.  He is jealous of the lovers Brandi has that he knows about but wants to have a threesome with one of them, a black guy on a visit some time in the future.

I get home a week or so later.  Always a bit of excitement when I get home so we don't get a chance to talk about things until the kids are in bed.  I am a bit upset since she didn't tape what she had promised to tape and didn't keep me or her GF informed like she had told us she would.  At last the kids are in bed...sleeping.  We talk.  Hard words but not too loud to avoid waking the kids.  Arguing a bit.  For some reason (very out of character to me) I grab her and run my hand down inside her jeans.  She struggles but then opens her legs a bit.  She is sopping wet!  Very excited.  I get my hand in her panties and very soon she has an orgasm.  Get her jeans open, get then down and off a leg, her panties down, top open , bra pushed up and now my wife is on her back on the carpet, jeans and panties on one leg, shirt open, bra open and pushed up, she is sopping wet and very excited...great view on my part.  I get my pants down, spread her legs open and I sink into a very wet and open pussy.  She comes several times before I reclaim her.  She tells me later that night that at times an argument turns her on and at times a guy being aggresive really excites her.  I know the last part but for some reason most the time when I try to do that it just doesn't work coming from me.

She keeps having phone sex with him, a lot of the times stark naked in the yard but also he gets her to drop her jeans or pull up her skirt when she is out shopping (in her car or in a restroom, she even has phone sex with him when she is with other lovers, including them both telling him what they are doing.  He thinks she has not done that with me so he is even more turned on by that.  Brandi loves phone sex with him.

They keep meeting now and then.  Not local guy and doesn't get to our area all that often.  She always spends the night with him.  I pretend to be Brandi's GF's lover and we meet them for a drink.  To me he is as big an ass in person as I thought but it is interesting and arousing to see them together, knowing that they have just come from a a hotel where they were fucking or even "making love".  My wife is sitting there, being "his", flirting and touching...her pussy actually full of his come.  Arousing, very arousing and a bit bothering.  But very hot!  One of her black lovers call while we are having a drink and he and her date try to talk her into a threesome...she doesn't go for it.  She tells me later she wouldn't do it without me there to watch (a nice thought really) but later she admits that she just wanted to be with him...but she later regretted it since the black guy is one of her favorite lovers and a guy (unlike the jerk) she would love to still be seeing but he moved to Boston and we moved to the North West...

Anyway, Brandi would see him, spent the night, make love and we would argue on my return or her return and have fantastic hot reclaiming sex.  She kept having phone sex with him.  I find out that the very first date they had they showered together and fucked as they showered.  That really upset me at the same time it turned me on...that much in lust with him...and I found out about it from one of his emails to my wife.  Also her GF was enabling since she had a boyfriend in the past that loved her fucking other men...with him watching and  also her coming home from a date or being picked up full of another man's come.  She later told me that she was sure that I was a cuckold and would enjoy my wife cuckolding me and she worked to help her feel more comfortable seeing men without me around and having "lovers" rather than just fucking.

The relationship between them did drift apart.  IF she had the chance to see him again I think there is a good chance she would want to, I have to admit that I would LOVE to know she was seeing him again...if she wanted to!  While it caused a lot of stress between us part of the reason it caused such stress was that she had other issues with me.

Just recently my wiufe told me that she enjoyed being with him, and while it was stressful to her to play a cheating wife (keeping her story straight to him) it was also very hot for her.  She also admits that she enjoyed the power and excitement of the cuckold aspects and that she would like to have some lovers that she could see with and without me, some that she almost always saw without me but we all knew about each other and might talk or meet and one or two lovers that she was a cheating wife with and one (or two?) that she would only tell me that she had a new lover and would try to get us to meet in someway that I would not know that he was her lover...like talk him into joining a car club we are in or something like that and she wants to have that feeling of power knowing he is her lover and that he knows me and I am left guessing and she would tease me about it.

(We were having sex...first sex in a couple of months actually and talking about her having a lover or being a hotwife again.  She had several orgasms from me eating her and playing with her pussy and she said that some of them were the most intense orgasms she has ever had.  She did say she wanted to play again but we still have plenty of issues: Money.  Daughter getting married...Brandi isn't real happy about that for more than one reason but she has agreed to do some labor intensive things for the wedding so I have my concerns.  Money. Cars...keeping the one running car running.  Money.  Projects around the house.  Money.  Son just moved out.  Money.  Issues with son.  Money.  Health issues with Daughter (heart problems! and she is mid-20s!)  oh and MONEY!  (Isn't money one of the big sex downers?)  We also still have "guests" staying and money is an issue and they are not helping with food or??  No idea when they are going to find housing either?)  Did I mention money problems?  And I have some health issues and time is running out on the car accident claim.

There is obviously some humiliation in the way that Brandi would like to have some lovers.  I think I will hate it and it will drive me crazy and I will also find it very hot and very exciting.  I enjoy seeing my wife kissing a lover in public.  Walking out of restaurant with the two of them close, his hand on her ass and me behind them.  The two of them in a doorway downtown, kissing, deep kissing, her dress pulled up and his hands on her bare ass caressing her...in front of me...in front of anyone walking by.  Her lust and desire for a man that isn't her husband obvious and her husband watching her and her lover.  My wife sitting in the back seat with him as they make out and maybe fuck...or he gets her almost naked as they kiss and cuddle as we drive through town.  She has enjoyed having me clean her after a lover...in front of  her lover and wants to have a lover that would be the one to tell me to clean her up.  She has had me nibble on her pussy with her lover's cock in her.  She loves that and finds the orgasms fantastic and seemed to enjoy teasing me a bit about my tongue touching her lover's cock.  My wife wants her lover to tell me to lick her pussy as he fucks her, to tease me a bit about being a cuckold...to tease me a bit about having to eat his come from my wife, to lick his sperm off of her breasts, to taste him in her, or taste him when she kisses me.  She knows it works not only for her but for me that she puts her lover first when the three of us are together...she is his to kiss, hold, cuddle, fondle, grope, fuck and make love to...maybe I'll get to clean her up or sloppy seconds or thirds later.

Part of what drives her in relationships like that are...if she does something she regrets with him, or they try something it turns out she hates...well she doesn't have to see him again.  She has tighter limits with me since she says she wants to keep waking up next to me for the rest of her life...She wants me to ALWAYS respect her.  Not sure I buy all that logic but I more or less accept it.

I never thought I would be that interested in cuckolding.  I started wanting to swing and then hotwife stuff.  Now I am a cuckold (turned on and delighted by it!) and working to be a more submissive one...  Had a few affairs myself but being a part of or knowing my wife is with other men for sex, affection and even some love is so much hotter....love seeing her kissing a lover in public.  And yes seeing her with a man I don't really like or knowing she is with a man that I don't like is a real turn on...shows that this is for her and she is the one calling the shots...BUT we both know I (we both actually) can veto but I have to be very careful with that power.  So I guess in the long run I trust her to enjoy an asshole as a lover...but to keep me as  her husband.

Love and marriage is a continuing evolving thing...people with different interests trying to live together and you have to compromise.  She puts up with some things  I do that drive her crazy and I put up with things she does that drive me crazy.  While seeing her with or knowing she is with a guy I don't like or respect...as long as she is happy with it and I am sure that no harm will come to her (or to us)...will drive me crazy but will also be hotter than hell. 

So now it is what...Thursday??

The week started out interesting and mostly unpleasant.  We had no real sex.  Darling Daughter bugging me for more addresses (and I am still trying to find more) of people that she wants to invite to her (and the groom's) wedding.  She isn't really being a "Bridezilla" yet but she does get a bit wrapped around the axle at times.  So after I do this short post I will get back to that and some other work (phone calls mostly) that need to be done.  With her heart problems (mid twenties!) stress is not something she needs!  She does have a personality like mine that can get stressed for no good reason.  I've learned to at some point buckle down and tough it out and get things done...but at times it takes a bit to get there and to press on.  I can feel some of her pain and stress.

Then we had all those phone calls and other stuff to do with the car accident I was in a year and a half ago.  Still have pain...lots of it in my back and my forehead.  That is real pain, all the crap from that.  We could get a lawyer to handle it at 33% plus costs which means that they would get around 40% of anything (and they say "very little" but I don't know how they define "very little" since from what I read on the net part of it is pretty cut and dried on what you get) I get and the health insurance is already making a claim on anything I get so between the two I might not bother to try for anything but looking around the net plenty of people have handled simple claims with no lawyer on their part.  Yes, I am sure that they get less than if a lawyer was involved but if the lawyer takes around 40% off the top that is a fair chunk of it that I am going to lose anyway so why not try to handle things myself.  If anyone has had to deal with the after effects of an auto accident...I would love to hear from you.

But today is cool but sunny, putting me in a better mood for those reasons alone.  I am not much for gloomy cold and wet weather.  So things do look a bit brighter.  Our "guests" have arrived last night.  So far so good.  They really are nice boys and the dog is nice but the dog is a bit upsetting to the cats.  And of course we have no idea at this point how long they are going to be  here.  But we will survive and go on so I can deal with it...I don't think that Brandi will be walking around naked much while they are here...

Brandi taking a lover?  Or two?  Brandi worked late last night and not too long after she got home Son showed up after he got off work...so little time to chat about sex before we went to bed.  And she had to work early today so no chatting about sex before or in bed or in the morning...Sounds like bad news eh?

But wait...there is more! 

I did ask Brandi bluntly did she want to actually seek out and have another lover or two.  She thought a bit and said, "Yes, I think I really do want to have another lover now."

A  while back we bought a Sony RDR-VX555 deck that can record your old video tapes onto DVDs.  Well while we got a good price on it it did not have the remote control and until we get the remote you cannot actually record a DVD that can be played on another device...So it kind of plays VHS tapes.  Kind of plays DVDs but not very well.  So while I hope to get a remote for it soon it right now just really is a piece of junk, we could have bought a rebuilt off brand unit at Fry's for less and had a DVD recorder that worked!  But our old Sony VHS deck finally bought the farm.  Looks like a tiny screw (that I cannot find) holding a rubber covered roller that pinched against a metal roller cam out letting the rubber roller fall off...so it no longer works.  But it was at least ten years old...but when we bought it it was a better than average VHS player and I liked using it to copy tapes. 

So I had brought up the DVD recorder so I would have something to play the old tapes I had made of Brandi playing years ago.  I had tried to record some of them on DVDs and I managed to make some DVDs that I can only play on the machine that recorded them.  So I was searching through the small stack of DVDs that I had recorded and played some of then while we were doing our epic bedroom cleaning on Monday and Tuesday.  I thought they just bugged Brandi some but the one of two of  her meetings with a man that she played cheating wife seemed to have turned her on.  He was a bit of a jerk in my opinion but he really turned Brandi on.  He would call her for phone sex and at his instructions Brandi would strip naked except for some sandals and walk out into our yard and proceed to have phone sex with him...sitting stark naked and her legs spread wide...no clothing around and thirty or forty feet from the house.  Other times she would be on one of those two person yard swings, naked, leaning back, phone at her ear and a hand busy on her breasts and a hand busy between her legs.  At times she would have such wild orgasms she would spurt enough to leave huge wet spots on the swing cushions.  I am sure her lover enjoyed the phone sex and I enjoyed watching her and the horny wife needing a cock in her afterward. 

There was something about him that really turned my wife on.  She would get wet just chatting to him about non-sexual things.  Their first meeting she spent the night with him.  She had promised me that she would tape their first sex...and she didn't.  She had promised me as she left (I was on a trip and out of town) that she would keep me informed...since she had never met the guy both her girlfriend, who knew she played around, and I were worried about her safety.  She didn't keep either one of us informed.  And last...as she left to see him she told me that she wanted to save something for me...she wanted us to decide on some sexual act that she would not do with him or another lover...  Romantic yes?  She decided on sex in the shower, my wife decided that she would not ever have sex in the shower with anyone else.  Sex in the shower was reserved for me.  Romantic!

Anyway the two short segments of meetings with him seemed to turn her on.

But there was another DVD that I played and looking back I think it turned Brandi on more.  We got a call from a woman that wanted my wife to be her husband's birthday present.  She was going to be out of town on a business trip and she wanted her husband to have sex that night as was their tradition. Since they were swingers and somehow had got Brandi's name and number (I don't think we had met but they might have been at the little get together for women and couples that wanted to have black lovers that Brandi and her girlfriend had gone to.

They owned a winery and a nice  house.  She called us right before we left for their house to confirm that he was home.  Brandi wore an outfit that looked a bit Asian, a bit of the Ao Dai and a touch of a Chengosam.  A high collar, long, pants under and golden fabric with a Asian weave.  She looked good in it. 

So we got there and I taped Brandi walking up to his door.  (The taping was very limited on battery so I didn't get as much as I would have liked until later when I plugged in a power adapter.)  Then I taped them later inside.  He told us that he thought Brandi being his birthday present was a joke until Brandi excused herself to use the lady's room and came back minus her pants...

So the next segment of tape has her standing and sitting at their bar sipping wine and talking with the Birthday Boy.  My wife is wearing a thong and an open front bra...her breasts are overflowing and the BB is getting an eyeful.  But what is more interesting is Brandi is telling him about her slipping with another man not all that long before. 

Brandi had been invited to this greet and meet for women and men seeking black lovers.  A man that we had been emailing and talking to invited Brandi.  I was going to be out of town so I urged Brandi to go anyway.  She decided to go.   But her Girl Friend had talked her into doing a Cancer Walk the same evening. Brandi told her GF that she could not meet her earlier as she had something to do.  Up to that point Brandi had worked hard  to make sure that no one knew of our swinging and then at that point that she was beginning to do some dating without me along.  So for several days Brandi kept dodging the question of just what she was doing before the Cancer Walk.  Then her GF (married but her hubby was not home) told Brandi WHY she wanted to meet Brandi earlier that day...that she wanted Brandi to meet a guy that she had meet on AFF and was fucking...

Whee!  As you might imagine that changed how Brandi looked at her GF and how Brandi thought about sharing a part of her life with her.  Brandi told her that she was going to a meet and greet for women and couples that wanted black lovers.  GF thought that was great and so that day off they went.  Nothing happened there but S (a guy that Brandi was very interested in) meet and both liked each other enough that they stayed in touch until they could meet...  So Brandi was a bit aroused going to that meet and greet...she had my permission to play with S or any other interesting man at the meet and greet but so far as I knew she was not going to share any of our games with her GF...I had no idea that she had shared her interest in a certain black man as a lover or that she played around at all with her GF.

So the DVD has Brandi talking to the Birthday Boy and telling him about that day.  She, like I said is now wearing an open front shelf type bra and a nice thong.  It is so hot to me seeing her being almost naked talking about something very sexual and being very calm about it...like they are just discussing wine or the weather...

After the meet and greet Brandi and her GF had met her GF's lover.  GF and her lover sat in the front of GF Lover's car and were flirting and kissing...in excess as far as my wife was concerned.  So she was telling BB about her looking up front and saying something of the nature of, "That isn't fair!  What about me!" 

GFL turns around, grabs my wife and pulls her toward the front seat and she says, "Gives me a wet deep hot kiss..."  So as they drive to the Cancer Walk there is a lot of flirting and double entendres and sexual innuendo.  My wife admitted that she was already turned on by being at the meet and greet and meeting S the very attractive black guy that she was very interested in.  So she was enjoying the chatting and flirting.  At one point GFL asked Brandi if she always wore a thong or a g-string and she told him something of the nature of if she wore underwear it was usually a thong or a g-string.  She later felt that might have  been the tipping point and as a result later than evening I got a phone call up in PANC and a male voice tells me that my wife is a great cock sucker...

So she was enjoying telling BB that she had played without me around.  And I think that seeing that video of her standing almost naked telling a man that she had not met before that she was going to be his birthday fuck and telling him about some of the things she had done in her past turned her on.  Later she is standing next to BB and up against him and he is doing a bit of touching and caressing.  Bra still on, nipples looking very hard.  When the camera moves around to see her whole body we see that BB has managed to slip her thong down and it is around one ankle on the floor...  Then in a bit BB unhooks her bra and my wife is naked...still very calm like it is normal for her to be totally naked and a man that she had not met before caressing her body in preparation to fucking her.

After that event she later told me that she felt BB wasn't all that good of a lover (according to her he wasn't all that good in bed and she did have him a few more times and also she liked a better endowed lover)  but she really enjoyed being a birthday present like that.  Watching it on and off Tuesday reminded her of the fun she had enjoyed when she was playing around and I think that is part of the reason that she said that she does want to find another lover or two.

So after I get done with my car accident related phone calls I'll be looking at AFF and the other places for a mature lover or two for her...

Where does the time go?

Wow, October 22nd was the last posting!  Not much going on in the sex department.  Various problems with life going on, typical reason for hotwives or swingers not to play.  I get a bit tired of the weather here...rain and cool today, had several inches of snow within the last week.  Not into that snow stuff at all.  Yes, it can be pretty but the mess after it starts to melt.

First the boring non-sex stuff.  Brandi's work is going okay.  I think at times it is a bit frustrating to her.  Her boss isn't that good (in many respects not at all a good worker or a good boss  but for some reasons the rules do not apply to her...Teflon and she is so self centered she is sure that everyone one loves her...other workers make fun of her to my wife and express sympathy to Brandi for having to work with her) and some of her fellow workers are  not the best and the brightest.  I think back to my flying days and I have to admit that for the most part airline workers were pretty bright and motivated...at least in comparison to some in retail! Son is still working...in the same place as Brandi.  Their schedules don't match so that sucks...both would like to save some gas by carpooling with each other. 

Cats are doing okay but it is obvious that our senior cat is getting old.  I hope he makes it for another year.  For various reasons we gave the dog we had to a friend that had lost their dog.  Seeing the dog's excitement when I stopped by and saw the friend was kind of like ripping my heart out...the dog was quite excited to see me.  While I know all the problems the dog caused us and how much more care a dog needs and my own problems at training a young dog...I also find it pretty easy to fall in love with a pet and stay in love with them.

There is some work going on to add to our garage and make it more into a garage/shop and later we hope to close in the dog runs since we are not going to have dogs in the future.  Well, except maybe one or two...

Darling Daughter is getting married.  We have not met the guy.  They have not been dating too long.  He seems to be much...much...MUCH better than some of DD's boyfriends in the past!  Educated, smart and driven.  DD is having some medical problems and will have some medical work done this month that should help.  Stress is not good for her at all right now.  She dropped out of school, Doctor's orders.  But you know how a wedding can be stressful.  I am trying to be optimistic that she will not become a "Bridezilla"!

Son is thinking of going to a trade school, a somewhat demanding physically trade but one that pays well.  Not sure at this time if he should do it but he does need to find a better thing that working retail for a career and to move out in a bit so he can see what living is actually like...paying all your bills and the actual stuff like doing laundry, dishes, cleaning the house a bit...the usual stuff of being an adult!

We also seem to be having two long term house guests in a bit...not sure how that happened and they have a rather large dog...think something like a husky!  An active young dog that chases cats!  Rent?  No idea!  Duration of stay?  No idea!  Me have any idea what is going on with them?  NO!  Just don't think it might be such a good idea...but no one asked me.  Yet at some point people will expect me to pull a miracle out of my butt and save things...

I have to admit that I don't really like the idea of guests with no fixed limit in this case.  Brandi isn't all that hot about having sex in the house with our son here so to have two more young men in the house does not bode well for an improvement on our sex life.  When the kids were young Brandi would (weather permitting) do yard work naked or almost naked...a pair of  shorts or cut-offs or swimsuit bottoms and topless or just a mesh top and no bottoms...or just a hat and smile.  She would also spend most the time naked in the house...rather enjoyable.  Those days are long, long past!

So that is one dog.  The second dog might be DD's dog if her soon to be husband cannot live with a dog...

My health problems are unchanged...still the head pain from the accident and my back is slowly getting worse.  Age and damage.  At times my days are very limited and I don't like that at all.  I never thought that a thirty-five minute car ride to town would cause me intense pain!

But the one thing that might be changing..?.  After two years or so of not playing...after a long time of not having any idea where Brandi and my sex life might be going...after several years of maybe once a month sex between the two of us Brandi now claims that she might like a lover.  We shall see.  She has no one in mind.  Doesn't seem too interested in looking at what AFF or AM or Kasidie might offer in the way of males.  So I am not sure where she expects to find a lover.  (Work does not seem to be a place she expects to find a lover either from her comments about most the males that work there.) 

Anyone know much about Kasidie?  I joined today.  Spent some time filling out a profile and all that to see it all just go no where!  Have not tried again yet.  Anyone have suggestions for a place for a couple (with a wife that can date by herself) to look for a lover for her?  (Keep reading...no need to rush and comment and help us  yet!)

The big bomb that Brandi dropped on me a few days ago was that DD (DD would have been about 14 or so??) knew of her playing around about ten years ago.  It does match the time that things changed  for the worse as far as our sex life (but didn't quite stop all the playing for a while) in our sex life.  There was a dramatic change in our relationship, our swinging/hotwife stuff and our relationship out of bed as well about ten years ago.  Me being almost always "wrong" about sex among other things.  Less interest in playing with others.  Fewer times of playing with others.  A big decrease in the sex between us...a big increase in her limits of things.  I don't know how to respond to the new information at all.  I do feel more than a bit betrayed by Brandi.  I should have been told.  I am still feeling some anger about it as well!  A lot of damage in our relationship has been done in the last ten or so years.  Our recent sex life can be shown by we had sex once in January, about the 17th.  I masturbated her to a couple of orgasms about the 22nd of January.  No sex of any sort in February.  I masturbated her and ate her to several orgasms March 01...the idea being that we would play on March 02...I was pretty sure that would not  happen since for the past few years most the time she has an orgasm or two she loses most if not all interest in sex for about month to six weeks.  It was obvious that she was subtly working on things to make sure that we would not do what we have planned to do on Tuesday (old people get a discount on the first Tuesday of the month in a local so we try to do some heavy shopping on that day) and long before the sun went down I was sure that sex was not on the menu any more either.

And I was right.  Sex was not on the menu, not on the calendar, not on the schedule.  What she is unwilling to face that the past years have taught me no to really take her word at face value (I find it bit depressing that I know that when Brandi or my son makes a "promise" to me they don't feel any real need to actually do what they have promised and at the same time they admit that while I don't always keep my promises as quickly as they would like I do usually keep them and make considerable effort at keeping any promise I make to them...it offends me that Brandi's response to me asking about her promises seems to be pretty much...so what?  No big deal to her at all.) and that any promises on sex tends to be more of a promise to do the exact opposite.  We really are at the point that I don't care all that much that we don't have sex more than once a month (in a good month) and that the sex tends to be Brandi having a few or more orgasms from my efforts and no orgasm for me, I actually at this time avoid having sex with her in that I try to avoid letting her do anything to get me off...I find I am just not interested in her begrudging actions to give me an orgasm.  While I still very much want to have sex (and I really want to have good sex with her) I also have a feeling of only going where I am wanted and Brandi has spent a lot of time making sure that I understand that sex does not mean much to her, not worth any effort from her and any words from her on sex that are not negative about sex are probably lies.  I've learned at 59 that there can be sex that is crappy enough to cause one to rather do without than to have it. 

As I told her....I used to (and at times still do) look for reasons, times and places to have sex with her and she looks for reasons not to have sex.  I can spent twenty minutes working out a compliment that I figure that she cannot take wrong...try to figure out any and all ways that one could take it wrong...then when at last I think that I have that compliment (sincere and honest) crafted with no possible way to take it wrong...she can figure out in a nanosecond how to take it wrong and takes it wrong!

So our life these days is just event after event like when she said that we would get a new floppy drive so I can go through all the old floppies we have with pictures on them (we had a Mavica that shot onto floppies and we have hundreds if not a thousand or more floppies with pictures and mostly non-sexual pictures) and we need to get them on something else so we can save them and use them and share them with the kids...and of course share the sexual ones with other than the kids.  Hasn't happened yet. But I still get talked at about..."Why don't you have those floppies sorted out?!

She talked about getting something that combined being a liberal with being into firearms.  Very time limited offer...as you might guess it didn't happen....one of those things we were supposed to do yesterday.  The offer is dead.  The part that confuses and bugs me about this...she is the one urging me to take that offer for the firearm related deal, she is the one urging me to save the picture on the floppies.  We have a car that needs a battery....yesterday was ten percent off, the old one was under warranty and of course the warranty is time limited...and the old battery sits, the car sits and yet I still get criticized for not getting that car running...  Just one more thing that I am supposed to do but she and Son are busy trying to make it impossible for me to do it.  "Why don't you have that old Ford running?"  "Why haven't  you fixed that noise on the Jag?"  (No parts...no money for parts and no other car running so I can have a car down for a couple of days...)

So while I would be delighted if she would start playing again (I enjoyed her playing for the pleasure it brought her and for the pleasure I got from watching her or knowing about it it also in the past meant that the more playing with others that she did the more sex we  had just between the two of us...so I am pretty sure that our sex life would improve if she actually did start playing with others again...talk about trying to load one sentence with too much!...) I have to admit that I really, really tend to doubt that she will.  Once in a while she will complain about the lack of sex she also tells me that she does not masturbate at all  and she is the one calling the shots on her (our) sex life.  Until she makes some sort of effort to improve her (and our) sex life it just isn't going to happen and all she has to do is look in the mirror to see the person that is her major stumbling block in any effort for her to have a better sex life.

So, after thinking about it, after writing about it I am over 90% sure that this is like all the other times that she told me that she was readying and willing and able and even a bit eager to play with a new lover or to have a better sex life.   I think it is safe for me not to bother to check on the ads at AFF, AM and no need to try to actually write a profile at Kasidie.  Interesting in that I started out thinking that this might be a thing that will actually happen but by using this post to gather my thoughts and think about it I became convinced that it really means nothing and that there will be no change.  The only real news was finding out that she had been "yelled" at by DD around?? ten years or so ago about she might have been having sex with other males...  I am thinking about the damage that the initial criticism has caused us and the continuing damage for all the years that Brandi kept it hidden.  Oh well...one cannot change the past but one can hope to learn from it...  I do want to close by saying that no one would be more delighted than me if all of a sudden that Brandi wanted to have a better sex life.  Words cannot express my joy if that happened.  Even with our no-sex relationship I do still love her.  But at this point she is the one that needs to make some effort to improve things.  I guess in a lot of ways this is like dealing with an alcoholic or a drug addict...friends and family can help, can urge, can try to teach but the real change has to come from within.  

I was going to cut some wood...But....

My Sister in Law's tenant passed away just a while ago and she wants the place quiet for a few days for his friends and family.  So it leaves me at a bit of a loss for the rest of the day, as far as serious things to do.  I could go split some of the wood we already have but...maybe I'm just a bit lazy today.  I am also thinking about how my back felt later yesterday after cutting some wood.  McManus used to complain about parks making their hiking trails steeper, I know the feeling, my chainsaws seem to be putting on weight!

This time of year is a bit hard for Brandi, her older brother died years ago, when she was about 16 this time of year.  Her oldest brother died this time of year a year ago and I think there is another death in her family about this time of year so it isn't a time filled with good memories for her.  Even though her SIL's tenant was not a friend of ours we know it will effect her SIL and it will give her more work.  SIL was cleaning up her tenant's affairs, the cleaning up his bills, and some other issues.  Good for him in that she is a very honest person without the baggage that some family might have Don't bother asking me how I know: I know what my sister did to my mother's estate and that was from incompetence and not wanting to "offend" (a nephew lived rent free in a  house for about 18 months, not what he or his parents agreed to..."But his Grandmother would have wanted it that way" says his mother...I don't think so, my Mother would send cash or checks to a grandchild to even up what she gave them compared to the other grandkids just to make sure that she spent the same on each so unless she could have made sure to provide a house for each she would not have done it for one).  I also know how my wife's youngest brother robbed his father blind and then tried to dump him on the VA...but he had always been a thief even as a young man, his parents bailed him out several times.  I get the impression that the tenant did have some issues with his family.  Who doesn't?

Children do have to watch out and pay attention to what is going on in their parent's lives.  Even aside from getting their fair share of the estate (if any) one would not want one's parents being stolen from by a brother or sister...or even a stranger.  Even a short look at the news will reveal stories about older people being ripped off by strangers convincing them that they are helping a niece or nephew or buying a roof job or driveway sealing.  Or somehow they are going to help someone from Nigeria get their fortune...and they will get rewarded.  I never thought anyone would fall for that but we read about someone reporting it to the police a few times each year.  We used to get letters telling us that we  had won something in Canada...after checking with the Post Office we found out that it was a common but "low cost" fraud and no one was really interested in doing much to stop it since there was far bigger frauds going on that they didn't have the time or money to pursue.  When times are tough one does get tempted to fall for this type of stuff so I expect to real more about people falling for such things.

I think that all families are dysfunctional to some degree.  "Leave it to Beaver" families do not exist in the real world.  I think my mother in law spent a good part of her life somehow thinking that she was being cheated by not having a "Leave it to Beaver" or some other fantasy TV show life and she didn't understand that real families have problems that don't get fixed in thirty or sixty minutes (minus the time for the commercials) or even an  hour if it is a very complex problem with worthy of a two part story line.  All families have problems, the important thing is what you do with problems and how do you deal with the results of the problem solving.

Somehow I've drifted off writing about sex, swinging, hotwives and cuckolding.  Not sure quite how it happened.  I know for various reasons we have not been having much sex recently.  Don't know when that will change.  When it does change you will be the third or fourth to know.  I'll guess Brandi will be the first to know, then either me or her lover would be second and if it is a lover I'd guess I'll be third so...

Time does pass, thanks for the sympathy.

Thank you.  At times I still get home and know I have to  check on him, see how he is doing.  When I don't see him where he spent his last months sometimes I almost panic and start to look for him.  Some of the other cats are demanding more attention, at times it seems as if they are working to get our minds off B.  They do remind us that they are still here needing attention, care and food...and love. 

Seems like a lot of death going around.  I have a somewhat distant uncle that I would asssume is dying soon from cancer but the Doctors are still working (removed his bladder this week).  My wife's sister in law lost her husband last year and a long term renter of a house on their property is dying, hospice right now and a matter of days I'd guess.  She had to put a pet to sleep not too long ago.  Life does go on and it is interesting to think how life does go on. I hate to sound too Disney about it but we all are born and we all will die at some point.

My parents were both buried and the cemetery required a vault and all that.  Father was not embalmed but my Mother was, against her wishes, but I'd been to another Uncle's funeral in the South (small town South does funerals RIGHT!) not too long before and I found the viewing and all that to be a big comfort for all of his friends and family so I got the rest of the family to go for that.  If there is an afterlife I guess I will have to answer to my Mother about that...she was strongly against it.  But somehow I doubt if I will be in the same place as my Mother, being rather lacking in some respects.

My wife's parents were both cremated, their wishes.  But in recent years my wife has decided she would like to be shrouded and buried, no embalming.  I am still not sure how I feel about that and to be honest I don't worry about what might be done with my body, it will not matter to me at that point.  While I am not "looking forward" or wanting to die I've found that I do feel a lot more mortal these days. 

While over all my health is pretty good I do have some long term pain issues that are getting worse rather than better and I have a lot more understanding of why some people choose to end their lives.  So I guess I accept that I will die and of course at my age it will be sooner than later (I'll be 59 in a few days so I don't expect 59 more birthdays) and as long as it sticks to what should be...parents do not outlive their kids...I think I can face it.

As I have mentioned in the past I was (or is it like being a Marine...once one always one?) a pilot for years and about 20,000 hours (not a lot in some ways so I'm not bragging by any means) and I got to fly to some interesting places and I got to fly some interesting aircraft.  But I've gone flying with a friend in light airplane, a almost 60 year old taildragger and one that has a reputation for not wanting to be "good" on landings or take-offs (good to get a little humility now and then eh?). It is worth a posting so I will try to get on it.  But I have cars to work on and wood to cut (and the chainsaws are getting heavier and bending over with one to cut firewood is real killer for my back) and other "fun" things to do.

Another Non-Sexual Post...no politics either.

We have several cats(about fifteen) (and one ferret).  Ever since we have been married we have always had cats.  We had cats before we were married.  One of the problems we had when we were first married was that our cat family did not get along.  But it worked out after a while.  One of the things that might cause us to not get divorced would be...who would get the cats?!

I am really not sure how many cats we have right now.  We have three shop cats that are pretty much feral that we were given by a couple moving into an assisted living facility.  A couple more that spend more time out than in, a stray that now lets me hold him, and the house cats that spend most of their time inside.  We live on eight acres so it isn't that big of a deal.

But one of our special cats died yesterday.  He was all black, about seven years old.  Darling Daughter got him at the vet, he showed up at the Vet's during a snow storm...a little black hungry kitten.  After he was checked out by the Vet we kept him.

Like I said we have had a lot of cats and some are more special than others.  He was very special.  Good personality, friendly to people and to other cats.  A real people cat.  Loved being around people.  Would walk with me down the drive to get the paper.  Spend time in the garage when I was working on a car.  Whenever the washing machine was filling...he would be there, watching and playing with the water.  Liked being carried.  Would ride on my shoulders.  Loved being played with, he liked being held by  his rear legs...dangling.  Never had another cat do that.  Fixed but still an alpha male but didn't fight much and enjoyed playing with kittens.

About seven months ago we took him to the Vet.  The one we got him from.  He was not acting like himself.  He had been a very graceful and active cat and now he was not so graceful.  Didn't make all of his jumps.  Something wasn't right.

Something wasn't right!  Feline Leukemia!  We had another  cat that tested positive for FLV years ago.  Told to put her to sleep but we couldn't.  She lived for years...never infected another cat and before she died she no longer tested positive.

The Vet said about half the cases live a long time and some, he wasn't sure of the numbers, just seem to "cure" by themselves.  He didn't think we should put him to sleep.

He never complained.  Up to last week we could pet him, brush him, feed him and he would purr.  And purr.  It has been months since he could walk.  Treats.  What ever food we thought he would like.  Tuna, bacon, ham, fancy cat food.  Water and broth by syringe to keep him hydrated.  About a month ago he started losing weight.  More treats and more effort to find things he would eat.  More broth and water by syringe.  Still no complaining.  No idea what to do.  He could crawl some and did at times.  The Vet said to watch and when he starts hiding he is in pain and it might be time to put him to sleep.  But he never hid.  And he would purr...a great purr.

This last week he just would not eat much.  Yesterday morning I had him on a pad on our bed.  He liked being there.  That morning he ate some bacon, took a little broth and that was it.  Got a little more broth in him about noon.  I'd check on him about every hour, try to get some liquid in him.  About three I saw that he had moved off the pad and had wet the bed.  I moved him and his pad to the floor and stripped the bed and started washing the sheets, spread and all.  About forty minutes later I was in our  bedroom and checked on him.  Paws were moving, like he was kneading.  He was moving some.  I got down with him and held him, petted him, talked to him.  In less than ten minutes he was still.  Dead.  Letting my wife know was hard.  She would feel bad that she was not with him.  Darling Daughter, who does not live with us any more, cried at the news.  Yes, he is ours but she is the one that had him first.  Our son was upset and he isn't a cat person.  He was that kind of cat!

I really don't think he had much pain, maybe a bit right at the end.  I don't know.  I hope he didn't have much pain.  I don't know what I would do different.  When B gets home from work in a bit we will pick out a spot to bury him.  We will find a place that he liked in the yard.  Maybe close to the pond since he loved water...loved the pond.  He would play in the stream of water from the spitting frog.

Pets are not..."just a pet", "just a cat", "just a dog" or "just a ferret".  Pets are part of our family.