Friday, October 22, 2010

I was going to cut some wood...But....

My Sister in Law's tenant passed away just a while ago and she wants the place quiet for a few days for his friends and family.  So it leaves me at a bit of a loss for the rest of the day, as far as serious things to do.  I could go split some of the wood we already have but...maybe I'm just a bit lazy today.  I am also thinking about how my back felt later yesterday after cutting some wood.  McManus used to complain about parks making their hiking trails steeper, I know the feeling, my chainsaws seem to be putting on weight!

This time of year is a bit hard for Brandi, her older brother died years ago, when she was about 16 this time of year.  Her oldest brother died this time of year a year ago and I think there is another death in her family about this time of year so it isn't a time filled with good memories for her.  Even though her SIL's tenant was not a friend of ours we know it will effect her SIL and it will give her more work.  SIL was cleaning up her tenant's affairs, the cleaning up his bills, and some other issues.  Good for him in that she is a very honest person without the baggage that some family might have Don't bother asking me how I know: I know what my sister did to my mother's estate and that was from incompetence and not wanting to "offend" (a nephew lived rent free in a  house for about 18 months, not what he or his parents agreed to..."But his Grandmother would have wanted it that way" says his mother...I don't think so, my Mother would send cash or checks to a grandchild to even up what she gave them compared to the other grandkids just to make sure that she spent the same on each so unless she could have made sure to provide a house for each she would not have done it for one).  I also know how my wife's youngest brother robbed his father blind and then tried to dump him on the VA...but he had always been a thief even as a young man, his parents bailed him out several times.  I get the impression that the tenant did have some issues with his family.  Who doesn't?

Children do have to watch out and pay attention to what is going on in their parent's lives.  Even aside from getting their fair share of the estate (if any) one would not want one's parents being stolen from by a brother or sister...or even a stranger.  Even a short look at the news will reveal stories about older people being ripped off by strangers convincing them that they are helping a niece or nephew or buying a roof job or driveway sealing.  Or somehow they are going to help someone from Nigeria get their fortune...and they will get rewarded.  I never thought anyone would fall for that but we read about someone reporting it to the police a few times each year.  We used to get letters telling us that we  had won something in Canada...after checking with the Post Office we found out that it was a common but "low cost" fraud and no one was really interested in doing much to stop it since there was far bigger frauds going on that they didn't have the time or money to pursue.  When times are tough one does get tempted to fall for this type of stuff so I expect to real more about people falling for such things.

I think that all families are dysfunctional to some degree.  "Leave it to Beaver" families do not exist in the real world.  I think my mother in law spent a good part of her life somehow thinking that she was being cheated by not having a "Leave it to Beaver" or some other fantasy TV show life and she didn't understand that real families have problems that don't get fixed in thirty or sixty minutes (minus the time for the commercials) or even an  hour if it is a very complex problem with worthy of a two part story line.  All families have problems, the important thing is what you do with problems and how do you deal with the results of the problem solving.

Somehow I've drifted off writing about sex, swinging, hotwives and cuckolding.  Not sure quite how it happened.  I know for various reasons we have not been having much sex recently.  Don't know when that will change.  When it does change you will be the third or fourth to know.  I'll guess Brandi will be the first to know, then either me or her lover would be second and if it is a lover I'd guess I'll be third so...

Time does pass, thanks for the sympathy.

Thank you.  At times I still get home and know I have to  check on him, see how he is doing.  When I don't see him where he spent his last months sometimes I almost panic and start to look for him.  Some of the other cats are demanding more attention, at times it seems as if they are working to get our minds off B.  They do remind us that they are still here needing attention, care and food...and love. 

Seems like a lot of death going around.  I have a somewhat distant uncle that I would asssume is dying soon from cancer but the Doctors are still working (removed his bladder this week).  My wife's sister in law lost her husband last year and a long term renter of a house on their property is dying, hospice right now and a matter of days I'd guess.  She had to put a pet to sleep not too long ago.  Life does go on and it is interesting to think how life does go on. I hate to sound too Disney about it but we all are born and we all will die at some point.

My parents were both buried and the cemetery required a vault and all that.  Father was not embalmed but my Mother was, against her wishes, but I'd been to another Uncle's funeral in the South (small town South does funerals RIGHT!) not too long before and I found the viewing and all that to be a big comfort for all of his friends and family so I got the rest of the family to go for that.  If there is an afterlife I guess I will have to answer to my Mother about that...she was strongly against it.  But somehow I doubt if I will be in the same place as my Mother, being rather lacking in some respects.

My wife's parents were both cremated, their wishes.  But in recent years my wife has decided she would like to be shrouded and buried, no embalming.  I am still not sure how I feel about that and to be honest I don't worry about what might be done with my body, it will not matter to me at that point.  While I am not "looking forward" or wanting to die I've found that I do feel a lot more mortal these days. 

While over all my health is pretty good I do have some long term pain issues that are getting worse rather than better and I have a lot more understanding of why some people choose to end their lives.  So I guess I accept that I will die and of course at my age it will be sooner than later (I'll be 59 in a few days so I don't expect 59 more birthdays) and as long as it sticks to what should be...parents do not outlive their kids...I think I can face it.

As I have mentioned in the past I was (or is it like being a Marine...once one always one?) a pilot for years and about 20,000 hours (not a lot in some ways so I'm not bragging by any means) and I got to fly to some interesting places and I got to fly some interesting aircraft.  But I've gone flying with a friend in light airplane, a almost 60 year old taildragger and one that has a reputation for not wanting to be "good" on landings or take-offs (good to get a little humility now and then eh?). It is worth a posting so I will try to get on it.  But I have cars to work on and wood to cut (and the chainsaws are getting heavier and bending over with one to cut firewood is real killer for my back) and other "fun" things to do.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Another Non-Sexual politics either.

We have several cats(about fifteen) (and one ferret).  Ever since we have been married we have always had cats.  We had cats before we were married.  One of the problems we had when we were first married was that our cat family did not get along.  But it worked out after a while.  One of the things that might cause us to not get divorced would be...who would get the cats?!

I am really not sure how many cats we have right now.  We have three shop cats that are pretty much feral that we were given by a couple moving into an assisted living facility.  A couple more that spend more time out than in, a stray that now lets me hold him, and the house cats that spend most of their time inside.  We live on eight acres so it isn't that big of a deal.

But one of our special cats died yesterday.  He was all black, about seven years old.  Darling Daughter got him at the vet, he showed up at the Vet's during a snow storm...a little black hungry kitten.  After he was checked out by the Vet we kept him.

Like I said we have had a lot of cats and some are more special than others.  He was very special.  Good personality, friendly to people and to other cats.  A real people cat.  Loved being around people.  Would walk with me down the drive to get the paper.  Spend time in the garage when I was working on a car.  Whenever the washing machine was filling...he would be there, watching and playing with the water.  Liked being carried.  Would ride on my shoulders.  Loved being played with, he liked being held by  his rear legs...dangling.  Never had another cat do that.  Fixed but still an alpha male but didn't fight much and enjoyed playing with kittens.

About seven months ago we took him to the Vet.  The one we got him from.  He was not acting like himself.  He had been a very graceful and active cat and now he was not so graceful.  Didn't make all of his jumps.  Something wasn't right.

Something wasn't right!  Feline Leukemia!  We had another  cat that tested positive for FLV years ago.  Told to put her to sleep but we couldn't.  She lived for years...never infected another cat and before she died she no longer tested positive.

The Vet said about half the cases live a long time and some, he wasn't sure of the numbers, just seem to "cure" by themselves.  He didn't think we should put him to sleep.

He never complained.  Up to last week we could pet him, brush him, feed him and he would purr.  And purr.  It has been months since he could walk.  Treats.  What ever food we thought he would like.  Tuna, bacon, ham, fancy cat food.  Water and broth by syringe to keep him hydrated.  About a month ago he started losing weight.  More treats and more effort to find things he would eat.  More broth and water by syringe.  Still no complaining.  No idea what to do.  He could crawl some and did at times.  The Vet said to watch and when he starts hiding he is in pain and it might be time to put him to sleep.  But he never hid.  And he would purr...a great purr.

This last week he just would not eat much.  Yesterday morning I had him on a pad on our bed.  He liked being there.  That morning he ate some bacon, took a little broth and that was it.  Got a little more broth in him about noon.  I'd check on him about every hour, try to get some liquid in him.  About three I saw that he had moved off the pad and had wet the bed.  I moved him and his pad to the floor and stripped the bed and started washing the sheets, spread and all.  About forty minutes later I was in our  bedroom and checked on him.  Paws were moving, like he was kneading.  He was moving some.  I got down with him and held him, petted him, talked to him.  In less than ten minutes he was still.  Dead.  Letting my wife know was hard.  She would feel bad that she was not with him.  Darling Daughter, who does not live with us any more, cried at the news.  Yes, he is ours but she is the one that had him first.  Our son was upset and he isn't a cat person.  He was that kind of cat!

I really don't think he had much pain, maybe a bit right at the end.  I don't know.  I hope he didn't have much pain.  I don't know what I would do different.  When B gets home from work in a bit we will pick out a spot to bury him.  We will find a place that he liked in the yard.  Maybe close to the pond since he loved water...loved the pond.  He would play in the stream of water from the spitting frog.

Pets are not..."just a pet", "just a cat", "just a dog" or "just a ferret".  Pets are part of our family.