Friday, October 22, 2010

Time does pass, thanks for the sympathy.

Thank you.  At times I still get home and know I have to  check on him, see how he is doing.  When I don't see him where he spent his last months sometimes I almost panic and start to look for him.  Some of the other cats are demanding more attention, at times it seems as if they are working to get our minds off B.  They do remind us that they are still here needing attention, care and food...and love. 

Seems like a lot of death going around.  I have a somewhat distant uncle that I would asssume is dying soon from cancer but the Doctors are still working (removed his bladder this week).  My wife's sister in law lost her husband last year and a long term renter of a house on their property is dying, hospice right now and a matter of days I'd guess.  She had to put a pet to sleep not too long ago.  Life does go on and it is interesting to think how life does go on. I hate to sound too Disney about it but we all are born and we all will die at some point.

My parents were both buried and the cemetery required a vault and all that.  Father was not embalmed but my Mother was, against her wishes, but I'd been to another Uncle's funeral in the South (small town South does funerals RIGHT!) not too long before and I found the viewing and all that to be a big comfort for all of his friends and family so I got the rest of the family to go for that.  If there is an afterlife I guess I will have to answer to my Mother about that...she was strongly against it.  But somehow I doubt if I will be in the same place as my Mother, being rather lacking in some respects.

My wife's parents were both cremated, their wishes.  But in recent years my wife has decided she would like to be shrouded and buried, no embalming.  I am still not sure how I feel about that and to be honest I don't worry about what might be done with my body, it will not matter to me at that point.  While I am not "looking forward" or wanting to die I've found that I do feel a lot more mortal these days. 

While over all my health is pretty good I do have some long term pain issues that are getting worse rather than better and I have a lot more understanding of why some people choose to end their lives.  So I guess I accept that I will die and of course at my age it will be sooner than later (I'll be 59 in a few days so I don't expect 59 more birthdays) and as long as it sticks to what should be...parents do not outlive their kids...I think I can face it.

As I have mentioned in the past I was (or is it like being a Marine...once one always one?) a pilot for years and about 20,000 hours (not a lot in some ways so I'm not bragging by any means) and I got to fly to some interesting places and I got to fly some interesting aircraft.  But I've gone flying with a friend in light airplane, a almost 60 year old taildragger and one that has a reputation for not wanting to be "good" on landings or take-offs (good to get a little humility now and then eh?). It is worth a posting so I will try to get on it.  But I have cars to work on and wood to cut (and the chainsaws are getting heavier and bending over with one to cut firewood is real killer for my back) and other "fun" things to do.

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