Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A little bit on kissing and then a little political stuff from Bob Altemeyer. LONG POST WARNING

I wrote this a while back to post at, I assume, Your Hotwives or Our Hotwives http://ourhotwives.org/ a site well worth checking out.  It really is a too long post about how our views on Brandi kissing the men she was fucking changed and how it improved the sex for her and made it more enjoyable for me.  At the same time it may also have been a step or two toward my interest in cuckolding or being cuckolded. 

Kissing her lovers, how my wife started kissing her friends:

Some years ago when my wife had first started going out on dates she found it hard to really explain to me what she wanted in a lover. Even at that point we knew that finding someone to fuck her was not that big of problem but it was and is far harder to find someone that she not only wants to fuck and wants to fuck her then we also add that  someone is right for them to become friends and lovers. She wanted to be with a man
that she enjoyed being with in and out of bed, while sex would be important and the primary reason for the relationship she also wanted, dare we say ("Dare…Dare"), a "relationship" with him in and out of bed.

Like a lot of couples we started with the idea of trying a mfm and going on to swinging (like a lot of wives Brandi did not like the idea of seeing or knowing that her husband was fucking another woman). It took a while to find the right guy and even though we started with the idea of finding the right man to just fuck without really thinking about it my wife sifted through the responses and found someone that was interesting to her, interesting in and out of bed. So we started with just the idea of a cock for her to fuck and without really thinking about it we actually were looking for a man that she could respect and like and I could get along with as well. I guess it was really her looking a bit further into finding a man, a person, rather than just a "cock".

Now to be sure for a lot of people that enjoy "swinging", "Hotwife" games the words "friendship" or "relationship" or even the term "lover" can be red flags and can cause heartburn or panic or any number of negative feelings. In our beginning that is how we felt to a point, at least that was what we were telling each other. But looking back at things it is obvious that my wife didn't just want to find a cock to slide into her, she actually wanted someone that she could talk to as well but also looking back I am not sure why or how she (we) arrived at that idea.

It was long time before my wife kissed the first man aside from me, her husband, that she had sex with as a married woman. To us like a lot of other swingers and other alternative lifestyle people kissing seemed so intimate, too intimate, my wife could fuck other men (fucking them bare back and insisting that they come in her or on her seems to come in a distant second best),  but it is okay to let other men eat her pussy, fondle her tits and ass and she could even suck their cocks but NO KISSING and no "friendship" just sex! Just fucking really since sex might include "making love". So how did the first guy that we met also be the first one
to screw my wife, what we planned on but also in a while became the first man to kiss my wife in a romantic way aside from me her hubby and also be her first "lover" as well as fuck buddy?

So we wrote Henry and we talked to Henry and at last we met Henry and we both liked him and thought he might be suitable for our first try at adding some excitement to our sex life. We didn't play that first meeting. For various reasons including him living three hours away and our first child coming along we didn't meet him again for a long time, might have been almost two years. At last we met him again and my wife had sex with
him. They fucked. We had planned on her using condoms with him but my wife got carried away and enjoyed him bareback and had him come in her pussy. No kissing!  Stop and think about that logic, let him come in your pussy and you are not on birth control but do not kiss him! The next morning after our first threesome my wife and I talked about it and after a lot of avoiding the subject directly we did face the big question.
Should we do it again! We were in agreement, we both wanted to see Henry again and we were open to trying to find another man and trying playing with a couple.

Henry lived out of our area so we were not able to see him often. We had poor luck finding a couple that we both wanted to play with. However the friendship between Henry and my wife and me was growing. Henry and my wife would chat now and then on the phone, letters once in a while and we did meet now and then and my wife and Henry had sex and I would watch some and join in some and we had great times with
him. All was going well, except I did want to play some with another woman myself but finding the right one or the right couple was difficult. My wife kept enjoying Henry bareback, no rubbers, and really enjoyed feeling him coming in her, there was some risk since she was nursing and was of course not on the pill or using any other form of birth control. We didn't think about that at the time but later we found the fact that she had
been enjoying him with that added risk of pregnancy to be exciting and she did admit years later that if she had become pregnant with his or another lover's child she (and she means we) would have kept the child.

So Henry was going to be down in a few days and Brandi was looking forward to seeing him. At this point we didn't still quite know what to call him, we didn't call him her "lover" but that wasn't all that important but it does show some of our state of mind.  Anyway I was talking to Brandi and asked her about kissing. How it was a part of sexand fun. After we beat around that subject for a while I asked her if she felt her fun with
Henry might be better if they kissed or would that be too romantic or intimate for her.  After some hesitation Brandi kind of let me know that she thought she would enjoy kissing Henry and that she did feel kissing was a natural part of having sex and that while it was intimate…it might be okay to kiss Henry if it would not bother me too much. In a roundabout way we agreed that it would be okay for my wife to kiss Henry the next time
we saw him.

A day or so later we saw Henry, I don't recall if Brandi had told him it would be okay if they kissed or if I told him ahead of time or if Brandi told him about the rule change.  Actually I am not sure how he got the news and I am not sure if we asked him if he wanted to kiss my wife. Anyway he got the word that kissing was now okay! The first kisses between them were a bit tentative, not too sensual. I had the feeling that they were feeling their way not only how they felt about adding the kissing but also wondering how I would take my wife kissing the other man she fucks besides her husband. It wasn't but moments until they were really kissing, full mouthed, lips locked, deep breathing and moans from my wife, I think Henry might have been moaning too.  Lot of lust and passion! Tongues flicking out and in. Kissing with obvious tongue play. It did set me back a bit, some shock seeing my wife kissing another man so deeply, with such passion. With such enjoyment. It was shocking and hot!

It was obvious my wife enjoyed kissing Henry and I was pretty sure that it added to Henry's arousal and passion as well. It wasn't long before I could see a change in how Henry and my wife interacted. The kissing made a difference during sex obviously but my wife and Henry now seemed a bit more flirtatious. It wasn't long until they kissed when they were not having sex, when we were out having dinner together or going someplace together. The kissing led to them acting more like a couple when they were together.

I will not lie to you and say it was no big deal to see my wife kissing Henry. It was. In some ways it was as big as deal as seeing that first time my wife grab Henry's thick cock and guide it into her pussy! Seeing my wife guiding another man's cock into her, that really told me that she wanted his cock in her, she wanted to, really wanted to fuck someone other than me, her husband! My heart was pounding so hard that first time I saw my wife welcome another man's cock into her I thought I might have a heart attack.  The kissing, seeing them kiss the first time was not quite that dramatic but it was dramatic and shift in how I saw my wife and Henry and how I saw them together. I also think that it was indeed a shift in how they saw each other. In a lot of ways my first feelings were a bit of "hurt" or even "pain". Yes we kiss family and friends. But kissing your
kids, your mother, your father, Aunt Melba is one kind of kiss. Kissing your girlfriend, you wife, your boyfriend, your husband your lover is a different kind of kiss and it means different things, it says different things to the people kissing and to anyone watching. It says a lot to a person that is a love relationship with one of the people kissing. They were kissing in a sensual and romantic way! It is very intimate!

Since it added a lot to my wife's pleasure and she took that added pleasure out on me in most pleasurable ways it didn't take me too long to get used to it. It had not taken long for Brandi to sit by Henry when we were out and to sit with him in the car when we were going some place but I felt they did a bit more flirting and touching and yes they did kiss frequently and it was any time they were together, not just when they were having sex. It was obvious to me that the sex was hotter, more passionate, more exciting for my wife.  Since her passion with Henry meant more passion with me after she had been with Henry I got to enjoy the effects of her increased excitement with Henry.

Of course once she had kissed Henry it was of course no big deal for her to kiss the next man.  After Henry we tried parties and a swing bar in Reno. Very little kissing at the swing bar and at that time there was little kissing at the parties we went to. However I noticed that guys would kiss her away from the group at parties, if they were more alone, off to the side or in a more private room. I still found it arousing to see her kissing other men in a romantic and sensual way. To this day I still find it arousing and hot to see my wife
kissing a lover or even just a fuck buddy.

Brandi assures me that she still finds kissing a lover to add a lot to the sex or the love making and she enjoys kissing the right lover or fuck buddy in front of me, in public and in private. She does tell me that having the freedom to kiss and caress and be caressed by a lover in public and in front of me adds a lot to her fun. She does enjoy the feeling of being her lover's and she enjoys the intense but different feelings she gets from
being his in private or just when the two of them are together or when I am there and she is "his" while I watch. Different feelings to her but both hot.

Political Stuff:


Robert Altemeyer has been studying Authoritarians for years and probably know as much as any person knows about them and more than most people know about them.  The link takes you to his comments on the Tea Party.  A long time ago I was a Republican including being a "Young Republican" and casting a vote for Nixon.  I learned as a YR that the "jokes" a lot of my fellow Young Republicans made were not really jokes. They hated blacks, Latinos, Asians (except Asian women) and women (except for sex and of course respecting "Mom")  I think (with deep regret) that the party has been taken over by the baser elements of America and it is a pity.  Take a look and I think you will find it very interesting (and if you are like me you see a bit of yourself in some things because we are not black and white but various shades of gray or grey).

http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/drbob/Comment%20on%20the%20Tea%20Party.pdf

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

1. Commando: Sexy or disgusting? Do you have a "best" commando story

It can be quite sexy on females or males.  I don't go commando too often due to liking a bit of support and I guess habit.  At times Brandi will go and when she is dating it depends in part on what pleases her lover.  Best story:  Brandi used to play a fair amount of tennis and would still love to play some...tennis.  Years ago we were stopping by to visit my mother and she was a great lady but not at all open about certain subjects but not really a prude either.  So Brandi for my enjoyment was wearing one of her tennis skirts minus the panties...no bra either but that isn't important.  We were chatting with my mother and Brandi was standing next to where my mother was sitting.  My mom flipped up Brandi's skirt as she was asking, "I've always wondered just what do you wear under those little skirts..."  When she recovered...not all that much later she commented..."Now I know!"

Another time we were out with one of her lovers and sitting upstairs in a bar...just one of those simple railings and she and Henry were sitting close and at some point in the evening she had lost her thong.  At some point Henry noticed that there were a few tables down below that had some guys giving her a look and of course she was not really paying attention and her legs were a bit open as well as Henry had a hand on and at times between them.  A college town so it gave an older woman (late 30's at that time) a bit of a thrill in some ways that they were so interested in her...

2. Foreplay: Is there such a thing as too much?

There comes a time that it is appropriate to move on.  Mercifully Brandi seems to agree with me on that, at some point she wants more than foreplay.



3. Oral sex: Good if you are getting? Good is you are giving? Equally ewwwww?


I enjoy getting and giving.  There can be such a thing as a bad blow job but a bad blow job is a lot better than no blow job.  Brandi doesn't  feel she is all that great at it but I think she is pretty darn good and is usually enthusiastic about it.  Someone that enjoys doing it adds to the pleasure.  I've been told by her and by others I am pretty darn good at oral sex even to the point of having a partner ask her husband..."Why can't you eat  my pussy like that?"  Most guys seem to take that okay but I do worry.  (Oregon is a easy "carry" state! LOL)

4. Orgasm: Is one per night enough or does the first one just get your motor running?

For me, one is usually it so I try to make it last and be a good one. Given the right time and place two is possible and once in a great while three.  Brandi is very easy multi-orgasmic.  One is just foreplay for her.



5. Morning sex: "Oh hell yes!", "Well if I have, too." or "Just get in the shower and go to work."


Ah, time and place again.  Used to be great but we seem to have so many demands on our time and so tired a lot of the time.
 
Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had anonymous sex? Have you ever had an orgasm without at least
 knowing your partner's last name?

Yes for both of us. We used to do some swing parties...

I blew the credit for this...so I will try to add it later.

 

Sunday, April 11, 2010

It has been a while...busy, had minor surgery and some other things...

A few questions...

Do I still fly?  Nope, I'd like to but there are the issues of being "disabled" and then getting a FAA medical.  I think I could get a Third Class Medical (Private Pilot) and then do some flying but the other issue is of course money.  It is quite pricey to me to go rent an airplane.  I'm used to getting paid for my flying, not having to pay for it.  I know that sounds very snotty but the money is a real issue (if I had more I'd do it).  I'd love to do some flying even if I was paying for it.  If I ever win the lottery...

I miss the travel in my flying, it was fun seeing the world but I also miss the flying.  It is hard express the pleasure you feel with a flight well done.  A smooth take off, a trouble free flight and then a smooth approach and landing.  When it all fits together and works out just right it is so much fun...and pleasure.


Brandi's Concern...Leaving me?  No, don't think that is really a big issue to her.  She has had a few guys in the past get interested in more than sex and friendship and when it got to be too much they were gone.  I am sure that there is some thrill for the both of us in the risk of Brandi finding a lover that gets to her so much that she is seriously thinking of leaving but so far all the guys she has been with have had at least one warning flag to her that it really wouldn't work in the long run with them.  I am sure that she has day dreamed or fantasized about running away with one or two or even running away for a weekend or a week or two or even longer as in really running away but we all have fantasies that we don't really expect or want to live out.

I still think that the issues are age (energy), the pressure of the one kid at home, money...due to me not working (disability is better than nothing and I am very grateful for it but...), time (she does work full time and most weekends she is at work so that takes up time that a lot of people use for playing), my continuing health issues (we are still working on my back and head pain and no real answers yet...I know the pain does not help my attitude or my energy level and I am unable to do things I used to do with ease, like work on the yard and cars).  I also think that she doesn't feel all that sexy or desirable right now.  Also she feels a bit down in that the men that she has meet (and not had sex with) just were not quite what she was seeking.  She tends to forget that in the past she has had times when it just seemed impossible to find the right lover and it does take a fair amount of effort to find them at times.  Look around at the honest hotwife or cuckolding blogs and you see that it is a common complaint.  Of course one of the funny things to go along with that is that you either have no good prospects or a flood of guys that really seem to work.  Seems rare to be in some sort of  place  between the extremes.  Oh well.

Aside from not much at all going on.  The new kittens are beginning to romp and stomp. Great consternation for the older cats and we are having to be very careful with our feet.  Six little furry commandos running around.  Delightful to watch.  Mom cat is being a good mom and she also is quite the hunter.  Saw her very efficiently dispatch a rather large rat...that bit at the neck and twist.  Very well done and the rat was about half her weight if not a bit more so it was impressive.

Off for a little yard work and chores.  Later.