Another comment from Your (Our) Hotwives...

 Ongoing thread there about...what do you do if you don't like your wife's lover or lovers or really dislike hi m.  Or like I said in the last entry...think he is an asshole...!

What works for one guy or one couple really means nothing in someways since it is two people as a couple plus another man trying to do something that is bit unusual and very intimate and personal and we are dealing with emotions (and lust is a very powerful emotion as well as love...all mixed up in here).  This isn't like trying to torque the head on 1991 Jaguar AJ-6 engine...there is just ONE right way to do that or even baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies (just how many recipes are in the net for chocolate chip cookies and how many work and how many do you like compared to John and Sally over there?).

But in some ways I look at it from reverse...Would I insist that my wife go have sex with a man that I liked and she didn't?  If cuckolding or hotwifing is going to work the wife must enjoy it and that seems to mean to most women (but keep in mind that the older I get and the longer I am married the less I know about women and marriage...and to add to that I know NOTHING about raising kids...but I knew a lot about marriage and women 32 years ago and raising kids 26 years ago!) that THEY (not their husbands) have to be turned-on by or like the person THEY, the wife, are going to have sex with, fuck or make love to.  This seems to be even more important in the beginning...after a while my wife didn't have too much problem fucking a guy that was just okay or even kind of blah to her at a party but for the most part one on one means she has to want the guy!   One of the reasons we drifted away from couples swinging was that it was so difficult to find a couple (four people) that were comfortable in being together.  Women that turned me on...the  hubby did nothing for my wife...guys that really were turned on by my wife...and my wife turned on by them turned out to have wives as crazy as most the people at Atatascadero State  (A California place for those that are not only insane but criminals...).  We met one couple that the wife had more than one lover, she would go away for a week with her lover but her hubby could not meet my wife for a cup of coffee...she did nothing for me and I did less for her but her hubby and my wife really, really wanted each other...ripped up pictures, phone threats..what fun!  Go figure?

So if you want your wife to fuck other men SHE has to find a man that she wants to fuck...the problem really isn't YOU finding a man that YOU want your wife to fuck.   Given that...when we started with our first mfm...remember it was just a step toward swinging...we agreed ahead of time that she would NOT kiss the guy.  And she didn't.  She enjoyed it a lot.  So much she tried (and succeeded) to hide just how much she enjoyed him (and their fucking!) and how many orgasms she had with him.  It was very hot for me...if she had let lose and had been as vocal with her comments and cries and orgasms as she later was with him and others I would have been scared to death.  But when we got to know the guy better and we became friends I got up the nerve to ask my wife how she felt about kissing and kissing him. 

First she said...too intimate (even now in some ways I consider kissing, flirting, real talking and friendship type things, some affection things to be far more intimate and hotter than my wife and some strange man just fucking, having some other guy's cock in her pussy or mouth can be a bit boring at times to watch if she isn't enjoying it)...she liked the rules we  had...blah...blah...blah.  Then I asked if she enjoyed kissing when we had sex (or even when we made love)?  She admitted after a bit that kissing was for her an important part of sex...very arousing....  Ah...Ha!  So we (her mostly but I was a part of that discussion) talked it over with the guy (who later really was a "lover" to her, not just a fuck so the same guy had several "firsts" with my wife, and they decided that they would try kissing.  They did.  It was very hot for them.  I was a bit jealous at first.  Some butterflies in the stomach but nothing like the first time and seeing my wife's hand grab his large (seemed huge to me at the time but we are actually very close in size) cock and then as I watched...SHE...my wife...guided another man's bare cock into her pussy...rolled her hips so that in a few strokes he was all the way into her pussy...balls against her pussy...wow, that was more than butterflies...that felt like I guess a heart attack feels...part of the shock was her being active in grabbing him (that made me think that she really wanted to do this and was doing for her own reasons not just because I wanted her to do it) and guiding him into her and part of is was he was bare and she wasn't on birth control and we had agreed that he would wear a rubber...  Some of her feelings about that night I didn't learn until much later including that while she had told me that when we had him come to our house for our second meeting that it was still a "maybe" and there was a good chance she would not fuck him that night or ever...she had already decided that he really turned her on, she was going to fuck him that night unless he or I did something very stupid

But the short of it was that the kissing made it a lot hotter for my wife and her fuck buddy (later lover)...seeing her greatly increased excitement made it hotter, a lot hotter for me.  I've seen my wife give mercy fucks at parties or be with a guy she didn't really want to be with but was being polite and it is a lot hotter to see her with a man that really turns her on.  If it is a guy that I don't see what she sees or I don't like or is a bit of a jerk...I am not the woman being fucked or fucking.  She has to be turned on!  (I have to too of course but I am a pervert and find her having sex with another man to be hot.)

So...do what you want to do.  Communicate with your wife and make sure she communicates with you.  Communicate with prospective fucks, fuck buddies, lovers.  But at some point you might have to decide to see what happens when your wife is with a man that you for all sorts of reasons don't understand why she is turned on by him.  Might look at it in different ways.  I like blonds.  Except for Asian women I pretty much dated blonds with blue eyes.  All long term girlfriends were blonds.  I still love blonds.  When I cheated I tended toward blonds (the important thing was for me to think there was a chance she would say "yes") I was kind of open but blonds were my goal!  My wife of 31, almost 32 years is brown (auburn) hair and brown eyes...  Don't you think that your wife has you...she might want to try something that isn't you?  Follow her own turn-ons?  I'll pay the price of seeing a man that is a bit of jerk or asshole in my opinion with my wife...IF he turns my wife on.  I've learned that it is a very cheap price to pay to see her having a great time which makes my excitement even greater than her just doing a mercy fuck.

But it is also a growth process.  If my wife had said..."Yeah...I'll cheerfully fuck another man several times and then we MIGHT see about swinging.  I'm going to take him bare.  Spend the night with him every time I see him.  He is going to be someone you think is a bull shitting asshole.  YOU will not meet him.  He is going to think I am cheating on you so I will lie to him some.  But I'll lie a bit to you about him so you might be kind of even.  I will pretty much have no limits with him...fuck him in the shower...kiss him, suck his cock, if he really wants to fuck my ass he will...let him strip me naked and fuck me in a semi-public place...have phone sex with him in the middle of the yard stark naked...be friends with him...and I am going to have some of the most fantastic sex I've ever had in my life with him and I will let him know just how great he is at fucking me when I am with him...if he is bigger and better than you...he will hear it from my lips...I'll tell him about you eating his sperm from me when I come home and he will think you are so stupid you don't know that I've just been fucked...and very well fucked I might add..." when I came up with the idea of using an mfm as a step to swinging and we were looking for the first guy for her to play with...well I'll guess we never would have tried swinging...

I also cannot help but think that most the men that play with married women do feel a bit smug.  I know I certainly did when I was playing with hotwives or cheating wives as a single or when I was married and cheating.  I think that is just part of the game.  But I would use my veto power on a man that was a real risk to our marriage or a risk to my wife's safety or happiness or didn't treat her with respect (but that is deep too since she is a bit sub to the right lover and really enjoys that but hates the word).  So things that I might see as a lack of respect are things that she enjoys but would not take from me...so I have to trust her.

But again...do not take our words, from any of us for the right way for you and your wife to try hotwife or cuckold games.  Figure out what will work for the two of you.  Be flexible and willing to change and to give and take...but keep in mind it also has to work for your wife as well as you.  (One of the reasons a women I played with got divorced was that her husband decided on the family hobbies and vacations...ALWAYS.  At one point she had enough and wanted to go someplace she wanted to go than to yet another wine making area...The first time she had an orgasm was with me and she had no idea what was happening...After she came down a bit she said, "I always wondered what they were talking about..."  I felt sorry for her in many ways.   But the lesson there is marriage is give and take, it cannot be all one way.  I think that is true even with cuckolding or hotwife games.)

Part of what I am saying is that it does have to work for the both of you...most important, the both of you...the lover, it has to work for him too but that isn't so critical.  If the guy you are talking to doesn't seem to fit or he tells you that  your desires don't fit him...back to Craigslist, AFF or AM or what ever.  YOU want the right lover for your wife...a guy that turns her on will make it better for the both of you.  But we found that both of us had changes in what we enjoyed and our limits.  She would have never guessed (so she claims) that she would be going out to meet a guy, a steady lover, to spend the night with him after going out and having dinner with him in public.  I never thought I would enjoy watching my wife get ready for a date...showering, make-u[ and so on, up to the shaving and trimming her pussy...and she would let me feel how wet  her pussy was at the thought of meeting her lover (seeing your naked wife telling you how much she looking forward to seeing lover, her pussy already very wet and a bit open, nipples hard, that aroused anticipation look on her face...teasing me about it a bit...not showing me her lingerie...telling me that her lingerie is for her lover to see first.  Reminding me how wet her pussy is for her lover and telling me that her pussy was now HIS...until we made love after she got back BUT first I would have to clean her pussy of his come...at times she would tell me that me eating her lover's come from her pussy or licking it from her breasts really turned her on and some of her lovers knew that she would have me eat her wet pussy (thanks to her telling them about it!) and she and her lovers would talk about how much she enjoyed me eating her sopping wet and well fucked pussy at times and then they would tell her..."Tell Michael to enjoy the tasty little treat I'm sending home in  you"  and she would keep talking and teasing me until I came into her...as she told me...then reclaiming her wet and well fucked, full-of-her-lover's-come-pussy.

The first time I tried to eat her pussy after her lover had just come in her...I knew she wanted me to eat her pussy (I had read some about it and I know she almost always loves me to eat her) but she also thought it was disgusting...would I really touch that mess with my tongue...taste another man's sperm (funny, she loves come in her and on her, she doesn't feel that she has been with a lover unless he comes in her but she also enjoys rubbing his come into her breasts and nipples or after a lover comes on her to rub the head of his cock on her breasts...she loves come but at the same time she felt that something she loved and enjoyed might also be "disgusting" for me to see, touch, taste her lover's come)!?  I knew that she loved being eaten.  She had told me that she had wanted to try being eaten after having me or someone else come in her and she also wanted to stay excited so she could enjoy H in her again...he would get hard again very rapidly.  I was trying to keep her excited since H wanted her again (and I wanted to see that and to have my wife after she had two loads of come in her so I nibbled very carefully around her clit...trying to avoid the mess.  When she came she grabbed my head and pulled it, forced my into her pussy as she came and came...very violent, hips thrusting and rolling, her hands on my hand almost painfully forcing my head into her pussy. 

Next time we were with him I was kissing her breasts after H had come in her and I was getting ready to enter her and she pushed my head down toward her pussy.  I got the message I ate her and she pushed my head around a bit and it was obvious she wanted me to taste more than around her clit.   Another time she sat on my face and she was a mess.  She rubbed the mess around my face...

Now she just "orders" me to eat her after she gets home or a lover has come in her when we have a threesome...I pretty much know I'm not getting my cock into her wet pussy until I give her another orgasm.  At parties she has been on a couch, I'll watch one of the men there fucking her, see as he comes in her, they cuddle a bit and then he pulls out.  If another man doesn't get between her legs soon...often she will then sit up with her hips almost at the edge of the cushion, spread her legs, lean back and motion to me and kind of curl her finger and point at her pussy...  I know what she wants. I do it. 

I have a tape made at a small party that has a friend of hers getting between her legs, his cock is thick and looks very hard and then we see my wife reaching toward his erection, guiding him into her.  Then we see him fucking her.  Both my wife and her friend are totally naked and we see them fuck and kiss and fondle and fuck for a while and others drift in and out of the camera's view, another female pats his ass, a few men look down at my wife as she keeps fucking her friend...a man brings his cock to her lips and she sucks on him for a bit.  The fucking motions seem to pick up.  The man pulls his cock out of my wife's mouth.  We keep watching.  In a while we see and hear my wife and her friend come, he rests on my wife, his cock still in my wife's cunt...they kiss and talk some.  Then we see him pulling out her wet pussy....his cock is not hard any longer, still impressive, gleams wetly in the lights...a thread of come and ?? connects his cock to my wife's cunt for a moment as he pulls away.  He moves his legs over my wife's legs...he slides up my wife's naked body, balls rubbing on her as he moves up, he reaches down to his cock and rubs his wet cock on my wife's breasts...she laughs a bit and smiles.  He moves up a bit more and my wife reaches to his cock and kisses the tip...sucks a bit of it into her mouth and the lets it slip out and she smiles at him.  He moves away.

You can see that she is wet...I think she had two other men before him.  She rests a bit.   Still reclined on the couch.  Legs sprawled wide.  Some highlights flashing off her wet pussy.  She sits up and talks to the others.  My wife, stark naked.  My wife's legs open and we can see her pussy, I wonder watching this video, was this the time I ate her just after seeing my wife fuck her third man of the evening.  Then she sees me.  Does those motions and without a word to me I am between her legs, on my knees, also naked and now I am eating away at her wet and leaking, open...and as I am very aware...just fucked pussy as she slouches back against the cushions.  She chats away until she gets swept up in an orgasm and her hands go to my head and she thrashes around, hips jerking and rolling, legs lifting and she pulls my head into her messy crotch as she comes and comes...pushes my head away and gasps...catching her breath, resting a bit.  Then another man comes over and she gently pushes me away and moves around on the sofa and opens her legs to another man..but he wants her to suck on his cock for a bit...a few moments he moves back down between my wife's legs and we watch as she  reaches between them to guide his bare cock into her wet and open pussy.  I know that some of the other men there must snicker a bit (but I've also seen how some of her lovers get hard watching me eat their come out of my wife and how much they want her after she comes from my tongue) and it hurts but it also turns me on to please her.

At times she makes it clear that she is enjoying the fact that her husband is eating her lover's come from her pussy (and she makes clear I enjoy eating her come filled pussy..."I can't shower before coming home from a date...Michael loves to eat my pussy when I get home...and I love what his tongue can do to my pussy.") and she is making a mess of things rubbing herself on my face.   But as another example of how things change she now wants a lover to tell me to eat her pussy after he has come in her and for him to tell me to eat her while he is in her...she also loves that but wants the power shift of her lover telling her husband to do it...  When we started this I had no idea I'd be eating creampie (I'd be eating my wife's lover's come, ejaculate...sperm from my her well fucked and at times just fucked pussy)...and I'd love it (and hate it a bit) and the idea of having her lover "ordering" me to eat his creampie out of my wife to be a turn on as well as a bit humiliating.  But like seeing a lover pull my wife into a doorway downtown as we stroll away from a restaurant, then watch as he pulls her close and as they kiss, grope and fondle each other and I see them hotly kissing, wet open mouthed erotic kisses, see him pull the back of her skirt up and grope her as good as naked ass (she usually wears thongs) as others walk by was also not something I planned to enjoy!  One guy would turn my wife around so he could rub his cock against her ass, pull her skirt or dress up and slide a hand into her thong and play with her pussy, a hand groping her breasts and the kissing (I think I would see a faint smirk on his face between kisses...kind of a "Look what she does with me, does she do this with you?" kind of look but maybe I just imagined it)...in public...knowing very well that she would hesitate to do that with me (and that he probably knows that) just makes it hotter but like a lot of other things...we didn't plan to work toward enjoying  such things...we thought we just were going to try swinging.

So what you want and enjoy might change in ways that you never expected.  Be open...enjoy.