Was over at Your (Our) Hotwives and saw an interesting question.

Should your wife have a lover or a fuckbuddy that you don't like or respect?


While I feel that you have to do what works for you I tend to go with the guys that say....It is about the WIFE...they have a very valid point.  For hot wife or cuckold games to work it has to work for both but the wife is doing something that is rather intimate and emotional for a lot of women.  She is having sex or making love with a man that isn't her husband.  Her needs are critical at this point and I feel most men should allow their wife a little slack.  After all would you ask or expect your wife to have a lover that she didn't like or detested since you liked him?  But as others point out what we are doing isn't isn't real cuckolding.  We know about it.  We are a part of our cuckolding.  Almost all of us really enjoy it.  Everyone of us has a unique role (there is no "right" way for us to be cuckolds, all of us do it a bit differently), all of us play the game a bit differently and for many of us the roles change, evolving for some of us and for some it is a time and place and mood thing for what turns us and the others involved on. 

My wife had one guy that I thought was a full-of-shit-blowhard-asshole-twit! (Go ahead Michael...no need to be subtle...tell us what you really thought of the guy!)  She was playing cheating wife with him even though he had contacted us as a guy interested in playing with a couple.  Since Brandi did date some we talked about it and thought it would be okay with certain limitations.  Part of the reason I was willing for her to do it was that it was obvious to me just how much even talking to the guy turned her on.  He could talk her into stripping naked and then going out into the yard and having phone sex with him...totally naked, out in the yard, clothing or anything else to cover up with inside our house  30...40...50...or more feet away...and she would have phone sex with him, screaming orgasms, spurting into the cushions, at times flooding them.  She was hot for him.  He also was very tall tall, a bit aggressive in nature, confident, well endowed (but not as big as he claimed), dressed well and had a great voice and used it well.  A mature businessman type.  All of those things are BIG turn-ons for my wife.  I thought he was more than a bit of line shooter from the beginning but I enjoyed seeing how much Brandi was turned on by him.  Picture your wife in a  chair in the middle of the yard...naked...not even sandals, legs spread wide on the arms of the chair or in a glider on her back with her legs spread WIDE open, visibly wet, pussy open, sweating and panting through several orgasms, cushions soaked, seeing her spurt unlike any thing you had ever seen before and with the phone to her ear talking to this asshole...

Up to this time I  considered myself as a swinger or a hot wife husband...not a cuckold.  So at that time I thought it might be fun to mess with his mind and get the inside from my wife as she tells him she is cheating on me.  Didn't seem all that much different that stuff we had done before.  So they talked, had phone sex, made plans.  We  had two youngish kids at that point, no her going off to spend the night without a reason...then I was home so little I didn't want to give up too much time with her on the days I had home.  So she planned to do it when I was on a trip, my Mother could take care of the kids and we would tell them that it was a business thing, she was doing some marketing stuff at that time.

We discussed some limits.  One SHE wanted was that she would not shower, take a bath (hot tub was okay?) and fuck him in the shower or bath...that was reserved for us!  Not too much else on other limits.  She was set up to come home late...so I thought.  She would call me before the meeting, during the first part, dinner to let me know she was okay and that she had  no little worries about him.  Then she would call me and let me know that she was going to fuck him and also she would set up a video camera and tape their first fuck...he thought that would be cool too. She would also call her girlfriend and let her know where she was and that she was okay...just a precaution.  The GF did know we were swingers and that Brandi did some playing when I was gone.  More on GF later.  She and an old boyfriend had a kink that I didn't know about.

So I was off on a trip.  At that time I would be gone 16 to 22 days out of the month which is one of the reasons she started seeing guys on her on.  Almost all of them were men that we had seen together in threesomes.  There was on Doctor that she saw alone but he talked to me and plans were for us to meet as a group one day and there was on guy she saw once and fucked that felt so guilty (he had a girlfriend) that he got so weird she didn't see him again.  The Doctor ended when his marriage started coming apart and Brandi felt he was getting too interested in her...  That made me feel more comfortable with her seeing men without me since it showed some common sense and also showed that while she could have sex, friendship and even a bit of love and affection for another man...we were (and are!) the primary relationship.

So the day rolls around.  Not sure where I was, maybe in recurrent.  But Brandi did call me to let me know she was getting ready.  Called me when she was parking to meet him.  I had to make a guess at the cars that she was looking at...which one was his.  I was right, she isn't good at figuring that out.  No calls.  No calls.  Check in with GF and she has had no calls since letting her and me know that indeed he is there and she is going to his car...  I am a bit upset...concerned!

At last I decided to call.  After a few times she picks up...  She tells me a fantasy...about being with a lover.  Of course I know she is actually telling me what is going on. So as her lover is eating her and playing with her naked body she is telling me about dinner and how hot he makes her and about their first fuck...and she was going to spend the night with him...she puts down the phone and lets me hear them fuck and then hangs up after she has a loud orgasm.  That spending the night thing startled me a bit, half expecting but wasn't sure if she was going to make that step, a big one in my opinion, to actually spend the night with another man.  Even after they drifted apart she was sure that he never figured out that she was telling me most of what was happening...she wasn't just cheating.  In the morning a quick call...he is in the bathroom so I get a little more and she admits that she didn't video tape anything but promises to tape something that morning...she does and it is hot.  Very short talk and switches to nonsense stuff when he comes back in the room.  He is quite excited and turned on by banging a swinging hot wife on the side...her cheating with him so he works at being a great lover.  Brandi later admits his arousal and enjoyment of of her "cheating" on me and making me a "cuckold" to him added to her enjoyment.  He is jealous of the lovers Brandi has that he knows about but wants to have a threesome with one of them, a black guy on a visit some time in the future.

I get home a week or so later.  Always a bit of excitement when I get home so we don't get a chance to talk about things until the kids are in bed.  I am a bit upset since she didn't tape what she had promised to tape and didn't keep me or her GF informed like she had told us she would.  At last the kids are in bed...sleeping.  We talk.  Hard words but not too loud to avoid waking the kids.  Arguing a bit.  For some reason (very out of character to me) I grab her and run my hand down inside her jeans.  She struggles but then opens her legs a bit.  She is sopping wet!  Very excited.  I get my hand in her panties and very soon she has an orgasm.  Get her jeans open, get then down and off a leg, her panties down, top open , bra pushed up and now my wife is on her back on the carpet, jeans and panties on one leg, shirt open, bra open and pushed up, she is sopping wet and very excited...great view on my part.  I get my pants down, spread her legs open and I sink into a very wet and open pussy.  She comes several times before I reclaim her.  She tells me later that night that at times an argument turns her on and at times a guy being aggresive really excites her.  I know the last part but for some reason most the time when I try to do that it just doesn't work coming from me.

She keeps having phone sex with him, a lot of the times stark naked in the yard but also he gets her to drop her jeans or pull up her skirt when she is out shopping (in her car or in a restroom, she even has phone sex with him when she is with other lovers, including them both telling him what they are doing.  He thinks she has not done that with me so he is even more turned on by that.  Brandi loves phone sex with him.

They keep meeting now and then.  Not local guy and doesn't get to our area all that often.  She always spends the night with him.  I pretend to be Brandi's GF's lover and we meet them for a drink.  To me he is as big an ass in person as I thought but it is interesting and arousing to see them together, knowing that they have just come from a a hotel where they were fucking or even "making love".  My wife is sitting there, being "his", flirting and touching...her pussy actually full of his come.  Arousing, very arousing and a bit bothering.  But very hot!  One of her black lovers call while we are having a drink and he and her date try to talk her into a threesome...she doesn't go for it.  She tells me later she wouldn't do it without me there to watch (a nice thought really) but later she admits that she just wanted to be with him...but she later regretted it since the black guy is one of her favorite lovers and a guy (unlike the jerk) she would love to still be seeing but he moved to Boston and we moved to the North West...

Anyway, Brandi would see him, spent the night, make love and we would argue on my return or her return and have fantastic hot reclaiming sex.  She kept having phone sex with him.  I find out that the very first date they had they showered together and fucked as they showered.  That really upset me at the same time it turned me on...that much in lust with him...and I found out about it from one of his emails to my wife.  Also her GF was enabling since she had a boyfriend in the past that loved her fucking other men...with him watching and  also her coming home from a date or being picked up full of another man's come.  She later told me that she was sure that I was a cuckold and would enjoy my wife cuckolding me and she worked to help her feel more comfortable seeing men without me around and having "lovers" rather than just fucking.

The relationship between them did drift apart.  IF she had the chance to see him again I think there is a good chance she would want to, I have to admit that I would LOVE to know she was seeing him again...if she wanted to!  While it caused a lot of stress between us part of the reason it caused such stress was that she had other issues with me.

Just recently my wiufe told me that she enjoyed being with him, and while it was stressful to her to play a cheating wife (keeping her story straight to him) it was also very hot for her.  She also admits that she enjoyed the power and excitement of the cuckold aspects and that she would like to have some lovers that she could see with and without me, some that she almost always saw without me but we all knew about each other and might talk or meet and one or two lovers that she was a cheating wife with and one (or two?) that she would only tell me that she had a new lover and would try to get us to meet in someway that I would not know that he was her lover...like talk him into joining a car club we are in or something like that and she wants to have that feeling of power knowing he is her lover and that he knows me and I am left guessing and she would tease me about it.

(We were having sex...first sex in a couple of months actually and talking about her having a lover or being a hotwife again.  She had several orgasms from me eating her and playing with her pussy and she said that some of them were the most intense orgasms she has ever had.  She did say she wanted to play again but we still have plenty of issues: Money.  Daughter getting married...Brandi isn't real happy about that for more than one reason but she has agreed to do some labor intensive things for the wedding so I have my concerns.  Money. Cars...keeping the one running car running.  Money.  Projects around the house.  Money.  Son just moved out.  Money.  Issues with son.  Money.  Health issues with Daughter (heart problems! and she is mid-20s!)  oh and MONEY!  (Isn't money one of the big sex downers?)  We also still have "guests" staying and money is an issue and they are not helping with food or??  No idea when they are going to find housing either?)  Did I mention money problems?  And I have some health issues and time is running out on the car accident claim.

There is obviously some humiliation in the way that Brandi would like to have some lovers.  I think I will hate it and it will drive me crazy and I will also find it very hot and very exciting.  I enjoy seeing my wife kissing a lover in public.  Walking out of restaurant with the two of them close, his hand on her ass and me behind them.  The two of them in a doorway downtown, kissing, deep kissing, her dress pulled up and his hands on her bare ass caressing her...in front of me...in front of anyone walking by.  Her lust and desire for a man that isn't her husband obvious and her husband watching her and her lover.  My wife sitting in the back seat with him as they make out and maybe fuck...or he gets her almost naked as they kiss and cuddle as we drive through town.  She has enjoyed having me clean her after a lover...in front of  her lover and wants to have a lover that would be the one to tell me to clean her up.  She has had me nibble on her pussy with her lover's cock in her.  She loves that and finds the orgasms fantastic and seemed to enjoy teasing me a bit about my tongue touching her lover's cock.  My wife wants her lover to tell me to lick her pussy as he fucks her, to tease me a bit about being a cuckold...to tease me a bit about having to eat his come from my wife, to lick his sperm off of her breasts, to taste him in her, or taste him when she kisses me.  She knows it works not only for her but for me that she puts her lover first when the three of us are together...she is his to kiss, hold, cuddle, fondle, grope, fuck and make love to...maybe I'll get to clean her up or sloppy seconds or thirds later.

Part of what drives her in relationships like that are...if she does something she regrets with him, or they try something it turns out she hates...well she doesn't have to see him again.  She has tighter limits with me since she says she wants to keep waking up next to me for the rest of her life...She wants me to ALWAYS respect her.  Not sure I buy all that logic but I more or less accept it.

I never thought I would be that interested in cuckolding.  I started wanting to swing and then hotwife stuff.  Now I am a cuckold (turned on and delighted by it!) and working to be a more submissive one...  Had a few affairs myself but being a part of or knowing my wife is with other men for sex, affection and even some love is so much hotter....love seeing her kissing a lover in public.  And yes seeing her with a man I don't really like or knowing she is with a man that I don't like is a real turn on...shows that this is for her and she is the one calling the shots...BUT we both know I (we both actually) can veto but I have to be very careful with that power.  So I guess in the long run I trust her to enjoy an asshole as a lover...but to keep me as  her husband.

Love and marriage is a continuing evolving thing...people with different interests trying to live together and you have to compromise.  She puts up with some things  I do that drive her crazy and I put up with things she does that drive me crazy.  While seeing her with or knowing she is with a guy I don't like or respect...as long as she is happy with it and I am sure that no harm will come to her (or to us)...will drive me crazy but will also be hotter than hell.