Thursday, June 18, 2009

Must Have Been on the Rag Last Time.

Still busy with not fun things. Darling Daughter's Jetta is at a transmission shop, the tranny computer and another computer are not talking (a "bus error"), when started cold and you shift to Drive or Reverse it shakes, shudders and stalls. After a few times and revving the engine you can drive and after it warms up it does okay. Starting and shifting to neutral idles okay. Not sure why it seems to operate okay when it warms up. The Rangie is running better but not not good. Might need an Ignition Control Module and or a coil, the problem is indeed temp related, hot under the hood and trying to start, it doesn't like it. Going to get a new battery since while the volts are not too low a few of the cells are dying and more are marginal. Cold starts are great. May also be low fuel pressure but unsure on how to check that, more likely than fuel pump I would guess pressure regulator. Anyone here know anything about Range Rovers and or Jetta transmissions?

Did some tractor mowing with a rotary cutter, eyes sensitive to the dirt I they still hurt today. Got lot more cleaning up to do in the yard. Lots of berries, lots grass. Bent the wheel on the cutter so need to replace it. Both of our brush cutters are out, the wife and the kid ignore strange noises and are not careful. B cross threaded a spark plug and now that one will not hold the spark plug (or "sparking plug" for old British car fans), might see about a Helicoil for it and the other one had the muffler get loose and beat to death a little aluminum plate between the muffler and the cylinder, I heard the rattle as soon as I picked it up and neither one heard it. Second time that has happened, the first time they ignored it until the muffler was also trashed. A Husky muffler isn't cheap! I fear the plate is an "order" item so it will take a week to get it. Ain't we got fun! A new brush cutter in that size (of quality) would be about $600.

I was cleaning up some old boxes of stuff down in our garage/dog run/shop and found a box of old Penthouse stuff and swinger stuff, West Coast Swingers and other things. Stuff from before the internet days so you had to WRITE people to make contact.

Bunch of stories from those days that I had saved, some good and some bad and one that I found was one that I had written about our first meeting with another man. It was short, about a page or so, not all that detailed and reminded me of a few things and also I had written in some errors, I don't recall the why of the errors but I know that on a few issues the story isn't right. Henry and Brandi did not kiss, it was months and some meetings before Brandi and I talked about the kissing issue and decided that it was okay for her and Henry to kiss. Yes, it made it seem more romantic but the real stated reason was that it was more erotic and enjoyable for her to kiss while having sex. She admitted that kissing was an important part of sex to her. So after she and Henry talked they started kissing. A bit gut wrenching the first time but also very hot to see my wife kissing a man she had fucked and was going to fuck again and again. It also confirmed in some ways the growing closeness they were feeling for each other. Maybe that was a sign of my desire to feel some of those cuckold feelings, the pain and pleasure, the hurt and the heat? Not that I felt like a cuckold with Henry and my wife, I did feel jealous at time for the obvious sexual pleasure she felt with him as well as the enjoyment she had being with him but not really "cuckold" feelings.

Much later in Brandi and Henry's relationship I commented that she seemed to really feel for Henry, I said that I felt she loved Henry. A rather indignate denial from my wife. Then a day later she said that she was afraid to admit it but she did love Henry, not the way she loved me and would never leave me for him but she did love him. We started calling the love we have for each other as with a big "L" and the love she felt for lovers was love with little "l". Works for us.

At that time she was very careful about my feelings and unsure of her feelings for Henry, about swinging and about seeing other men. I urged her into trying a threesome as a way to get into swinging. For various reasons, some good some not so good and some due to Brandi's actions, swinging turned out to be fun for both of us but not as fun as threesomes and more-somes with Brandi being the center of attention and Brandi dating...having lovers. I'd have never guess that I would want to feel like a cuckold in that special way we use here and in the cuckold groups but I need that feeling and want it. Brandi says she enjoys her times with other men and enjoys the power she feels over me as she also enjoys relaxing and letting her lover be in charge and be "his" and be a bit submissive to him. She enjoys being "his" in front of me, the kissing, the touching, the love making. But along with that she is worried about hurting me, hurting me more than I can stand or more than I want. Yes, she wants to only cuckold me the way we refer to it her, not to really hurt me. But she has hurt me in the past with the guy she was playing a "cheating wife" with, as I have said she did do things with him that she promised to do only with me and she did lie or at least mislead me about those things. That hurt but it was sooo hot! Yes, I did feel like a cuckold!

I just got off the phone with Brandi, she is at work. Among other things we chatted about was her seeing other men, not much sex the last week, too many other issues including time, but when we have had sex recently she has continued to say that she wants to see Ed, see a previous lover that isn't local but one she played cheating wife with and spent the nights with (he didn't know that I knew most of what was going on). Also touched on her doing some cooking writing. I am almost done with a book about Eisner (Will Eisner of "The Spirit") and Miller (of "Sin City") talking and about the comic business and just finished Eisner's book interviewing comic people from mostly the "Golden Age". Part of what struck me is that the people that really went somewhere with most things, writing, art, business are driven. Not all driven people are driven to do good work but if you are driven and you can do good work you will go places.

I pointed out that if Brandi wants to write she has to make the time to do it, I can help but I can't push her fingers down on those keys. If Brandi wants to see other men, she has to make the effort to do it. I can't do it for her, Ed can't do it for her. She says she wants to do it so she has to put forth the effort to make it happen. Small steps will be fine: call Ed back, sit down and start her cooking blog or write for even five minutes. She is finishing a book by Julia Child and one of Julia's relatives about Julia in France and her first cook book and the start of her fame, very enjoyable, very interesting (I found it and read it first).

So Brandi is thinking about things and she says that she really wants to write and she really wants to play, to have a lover or we shall see what happens.

Posted a picture (if it works, I guess you have to be in "Edit Html" to add a picture) of Brandi, a picture taken the day I took the second, third and fourth nude pictures of her, or at least the second, third and fourth nudes I had taken of her, before we tried swinging or she had a lover. I see nudes in other blogs and some of sexual content, is that okay here? She had some nudes taken by an artist that was painting a nude of her for her boyfriend, before we were married. I'd guess a boyfriend that you would pose nude for an artist for should be called a "lover" but what do I know. The artist would not give her the pictures, or sell her the painting at a reasonable price when her romance with the boyfriend came apart. Since I would assume she didn't sign a model release the artist did well if not honorably, free model and the deposit for the painting and got to sell the painting for full price to another person. We are on flickr but I don't go there that often.

The pictures...taken the same day.  We walked down to the beach, near Los Osos and I got a shot of her laughing as a wave got her and then talked her into slipping off her bikini as we walked back.  I love both of these shots.  The nude is the second nude I took of Brandi, the first was at a nude beach on Maui and I don't know where a print of that is anymore...if it shows up I'll share it.


  1. First good luck with those vehicle issues! Wish i could help.

    Loved reading the background about your wife's relationship with Henry. Do they still stay in touch at all and is it possible they might get back together?

    Sounds like your being a good supportive husband, you are right though, if she really wants those things she will get the energy to pursue them herself, but if she directly tries to delegate some of those responsibilities to you you should do as she says, it might be part of the fun for her.

  2. Good point on doing some for her...if she wants me too.

    We had mentioned Henry not all that long ago and I found the ad he ran that got my wife's interest and she looked him up on the net and found him and they are back in touch as of TODAY!